Love Me or Don't
by whiskeytracks
Summary: Is it love blinded by lust? Or lust blinded by love? Nathan Scott isn't quite sure. Naley.
1. Chapter 1

Long, drawn out, unnecessary explanation ahead...proceed with caution.

So this little piece of...porn (not so much in this chapter, but definitely the others), to be frank, has been in the works for a long ass time. Like 2-ish years. And I have toyed with it so much that it's actually driven me crazy. This short story has gone through so many changes, from scenes to plot lines to pretty much everything. If I'm honest...I'm still not really sure how to describe what this is. I guess it's like Naley porno with somewhat of a plot woven through? If you could really call the plot...a plot? I basically just put together a bunch of like random excerpts that I had in my mind and tried to put them together so it formed some kind of resemblance to a story. Did I do a good job with that? Not really sure...but oh, well.

This idea came to me a long time ago while I was reading Reckless Abandonment by catc20NYNY. If you haven't read that, I highly suggest that you do. It is, unfortunately unfinished, but it's still soooo fricken good. I can't tell you how many times I've read it. This story isn't exactly like that one, but it kind of has similar themes, so complete credit goes to that author for any similarities. It's also pretty AU/OCC.

Some parts of this are choppy, I will admit. Some things are left vague and it honestly was just because I felt like it was unnecessary to explain every detail and backstory like I would with one of my full-length stories. As you will probably be able to tell, I have such a thing for damaged Nathan. I have no idea why...he's just so fun to write.

This story is broken up into four parts and I already have the entire thing written, so if it gets a good response...I shall post updates quite quickly.

Lastly, I didn't think I was ever going to post this by Mel, Jessie, and Jill kind of twisted my arm. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Part I — Set It Off

"Cannonball!"

Nathan Scott laughs as Tim Smith, his self-proclaimed best friend, launches his body into the vast in-ground pool. A chorus of girls screaming cuts through the night air, obviously upset at the large waves ruining their hair or make-up. That earns an eye-roll out of Nathan. He never understood why girls jumped in the pool, but refused to get their hair wet. Wasn't that the point of swimming?

Shaking his head, he crosses his arm over his chest and scans the rest of the party. It's in full swing—music thrumming loudly, kegs flowing, bottles of vodka tipping over. Dancing bodies are everywhere—infiltrating through the beach house, cluttering the pool and down to the docks, and spilling out on to the beach. The air is crisp, boarding between humidity and slightly chilly. The unmistakable scent of fall is lingering.

Nathan Scott's annual end-of-summer beach party has a different vibe to it this year. By this time next week, everyone is going to be spread out at different colleges or jobs, for a select few. There's an element of sadness for some people, the realization that friendships are going to be stretched for miles. Laughter and late nights are going to be traded for phone calls and letters.

For some people, it's nerves. For others, it's sadness.

But not for Nathan Scott. His basketball pedigree had earned him a spot on Duke University's renowned basketball team. He's a highly anticipated prospect, earning him a free ride and instant popularity. He'd been working his whole life for something like this and he finally feels as if all his hard work had paid off.

As far as he's concerned, the quicker he distances himself from Tree Hill—and _her—_ the better.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a red-head eyeing him. When he glances at her, his eyes blatantly rake over her form. She's tan with a banging body, cat-like eyes, and a smirk on her full lips that just screams sex. She's just Nathan's type, with her eyes twinkling mischief and a hungry look on her face.

He sends a smirk her way. In response, she swivels around so that he back is facing him. Her hips twirl in tune with the music and his eyes are drawn to her ass. The fabric of her black bikini barely stretches over the globes of her ass and he licks his lips in response.

It's almost too easy, he thinks to himself. There's never a shortage of girls that want to throw themselves at him. They all want a piece of the soon-to-be-basketball legend and even if he didn't have that celebrity status going for him, he'd still be able to win them over with his good looks. Dark hair, mysterious blue eyes, a sharp jawline, and a sexy smirk that rivaled none…he was basically a walking sex God. And he was going to take full advantage of every perk that came along with his devilish good looks. What guy wouldn't?

When she peeks over her shoulder and throws him a saucy smirk, he decides that she's hot enough to be his girl for the night. Or, at least one of them. He starts to saunter his way over to her, a couple of smooth lines that he knows will get her in his bed in no time resting on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't get very far.

"Nate!"

He whips his head around and his lustful smirk shifts to amusement. His half-brother—by way of a long, complicated, and dramatic story fit for a soap opera—is stumbling towards him. With eyes low and a droopy grin on his face, it's clear Lucas is on his way to being two sheets to the wind if he isn't already.

"You seen Peyton?" Lucas slurs, his normal articulacy failing him.

Nathan's smirk broadens. It comes as no surprise that Lucas is looking for Peyton Sawyer (who is also his ex-girlfriend, but that's a story for a different day). For the last year, they'd been sleeping together, off the record. Behind closed doors, they're like a real couple—indulging in pillow talk, sweet gestures, and long nights. To the naked eye, they're nothing but friends. It's the best two people can do when they have glaring commitment issues.

"Your girlfriend? Oh, yeah, I think I saw heading towards her car with that Chase guy about an hour ago," Nathan teases slyly. "She must be giving him quite the _ride_."

Lucas' eyes narrow as she swats an arm at Nathan. "You're a fucking asshole."

Nathan shrugs, unfazed. Being called "asshole" was almost like being called by his first name. Besides, he'd been called much worse.

"You wanna play that game? Fine," Lucas huffs. "But you should know, I saw Haley making out with some college sophomore. Looked pretty intense."

In a split second, Nathan's entire mood shifts. His jaw locks as his hands fold into tight fists. He tries to keep his face as level as possible, reflecting no emotion, but he falters slightly. He cuts his gaze over to Lucas and narrows his eyes at the smug grin on his face. He wants to fire back and even has a few remarks that are just as evil stored away, but he refrains. Adding more fuel to the fire would only confirm Lucas' suspicions. And confirming Lucas' suspicions was just a death sentence waiting to happen because God forbid he was enough for Lucas' precious Haley.

Lucas pats him on the back as he strolls away.

Nathan quickly diverts his attention back to where the red-head was giving him a free show. He's in desperate need of a distraction and he figures rolling around in the sheets with some slut was the perfect one. After all, it's what he always did when he needed to drown out the thoughts of her. Self-destruction at its finest.

Except his distraction was nowhere to be found. Looks like he'll have to settle for another beer instead.

~x~

Blue eyes are locked on tan skin and beauty. Her smile is angelic as she laughs, a red plastic cup in one hand and the other resting on a curvy hip. He doesn't bother to hide his obvious perusal of her, his eyes taking a slow trip from the top of her head to the base of her feet.

He said he wasn't going to do this, but his word usually held no merit…especially when it came to this particular girl.

Haley James had been the object of his affection for the last four years and, if he's being honest, the starring role in all of his fantasies. Cold showers had become his best friend, at this point. God, she drives him absolutely crazy.

She was so innocent, with doe-like eyes that could make you promise her the world. Her laugh is so infectious that you can't help but smile when you hear it. She's also a spitfire, someone who can give him a run for his money with her quick remarks. She's not afraid to call him on his bullshit and fuck, it's such a turn on. And that body of hers…God, it wasn't fair for someone to be that sexy and for him to not be able to touch her. It was torture.

She's easily one of the smartest people she knows and has a heart of gold, but he can't be bothered to dwell on any of that poetic shit.

He knows it's cliché for a guy like him to want a girl like that…one he clearly can't have, especially when he has a plethora of over girls to pick through. But there's just something about her…the forbidden fruit aspect of it all that has his head spinning.

He just needs one fix and he's sure she'll be out of his system for good. Just one fix.

"You know, you could just tell her."

Nathan pauses in bringing the beer bottle to his lips and reluctantly peels his eyes away from Haley. Stealing a side glance at Brooke Davis, he scowls mildly. She's claimed the chaise chair adjacent to him, her thin and tanned body stretched across the green and blue pattern. She's picking at the strings of her lavender bikini and she has _that_ look on her face.

A look that he's learned over the years means he's fucked, and not in a good way.

He's known Brooke since grade school, mostly due to their parent's also being childhood friends. Apart from Lucas, she's the closest person he has and most days, she annoys the hell out of him. She's like the little sister he never wanted, but he'd take a bullet for her if she asked. It's a complicated friendship, but what part of his life isn't?

"Tell her, what?" he asks briskly, training his eyes on the ripples in the crystal blue pool water. He knows what she's going to say and he doesn't want to hear it.

"That you're in love with her," Brooke finally answers after an obvious perusal of his face. She's waiting for him to crack and he's resilient.

Nathan keeps his face steady, but his grip tightens around his beer bottle. "I just want to fuck her," he grits out.

Brooke raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and licks her lips. She sits up, swinging her legs over the side of the chair so she's facing him. Her hazel eyes narrow, challenging and calculating. "You won't."

Nathan presses his lips together, partially in amusement and partially in annoyance. He's used to Brooke trying to start arguments with him, especially when it concerns a certain blonde haired, brown-eyed beauty. His pride won't let Brooke win. Hell, he couldn't afford to let Brooke win. It would be suicide.

"Watch me," he snips back, lips curving into a cocky smirk that has gotten him into way too many beds to count. "I'll get her to crack. She can't resist me forever."

Brooke doesn't try to hide her dramatic eye-roll. "Contrary to what you believe, you are not God's gift to women."

His smirk doesn't falter, eyes dancing with amusement. "I'm pretty damn close to it."

Brooke sighs, a sound that mirrors exhaustion. For a moment, Nathan thinks she's going to give up—shake her head and walk away like she'd done many times before. He waits for her to ascend from the chaise and leave him alone with his drunken thoughts. She doesn't move.

"What I meant is that even if she gives you the green light, you won't do it."

Nathan narrows his eyes and wets his lips. He prepares a snarky remark—either to propose her with a gamble or to tell her to fuck off—he's not sure, yet.

Brooke doesn't give him the chance to respond.

She slips off the chair and bends down so she's eye-level with him, tucking her hands between her knees. Her own eyes are narrowed, the challenging gleam in them catching him off guard. Her red stained lips curve into a sickeningly sweet smile.

"You know damn well that she deserves more than just being another notch in your belt and the fact that you can't give her that kills you. Oh, and I guess there's also the fact that Lucas would have your head."

Like a quick flick of a wrist, his buzz is gone and he resists the urge to scowl. His throat seals itself shut and his heart plummets to his stomach. He despises the fact that Brooke is right.

~x~

The bitter taste of beer slides down his throat. He's wallowing, he knows that he is, but he's still trying to convince himself otherwise. Fuck, Brooke. Fuck Brooke for killing his buzz and fuck Brooke for reminding him yet again how screwed he is.

Her words have him spiraling and he can't shake the one memory that's plagued him almost daily for the last two years.

~x~

 _"Shit, he's here!" Haley hissed as she stomped over the circle of friends. The red solo cup in her hands was bending from the force of her fingers, two seconds away from cracking and spilling the contents of it all over the floor._

 _"Who's here?" Peyton asked while she poured herself another glass of jungle juice._

 _Haley huffed as she brushed her frazzled hair out of her face. "My cheating scumbag of an ex-boyfriend, that's who!"_

 _"You mean that scrawny wannabe rock-star kid?" Nathan corrected with an amused look on his face. "Come on, Hales, I thought we talked about this…he was into me more than he was into you."_

 _He almost laughed out loud when Haley shot around to glare at him. Her cheeks, which were already pretty rosy, seemed to redden even more. Nathan had made it public knowledge how he felt about Haley's ex-boyfriend, Chris Keller. While most of the time he just made jabs at Chris to get a rise out of Haley—it wasn't his fault that she looked so sexy when she was angry, especially at him—he genuinely didn't like the kid. He was pretentious, had this annoying habit of speaking in third person, and was just an all-around sleazeball._

 _"I'm just saying," Nathan chuckled, his palms extended outward in defense. "No straight guy wears skinny jeans and eyeliner."_

 _Haley pressed her lips together in a snarl. "He didn't wear eyeliner."_

 _"And what was his boyfriend's name? Paul?"_

 _Just like he expected, a flame ignited in her eyes. It amused him (and turned him on to no end) that he could cause such a reaction in her with the simplest goads. No one else had ever had that effect on him and it was addicting as hell._

 _However, before she could respond with something vile, Brooke tossed an arm around her shoulder and guided her out of the beach house kitchen. Peyton wasn't far behind them, shooting a mock glare at Nathan. He snickered as he took another swig of his drink. Now, it was a party._

 _"Do you always have to be such an ass to Haley?" Lucas piped up, moving from beside Nathan to leaning on the counter across from him. His lips were pulled into a scowl and the disappointed look Nathan knew all too well was on his face._

 _"Lighten up, man," Nathan said casually. "I'm just fucking around with her. You know how it is."_

 _Lucas shook his head. His eyes were narrow, which was something he always did when he tried to piece things together in that over-analytical brain of his. "You don't act like that towards Brooke and Peyton. Only Haley."_

 _Nathan resisted the urge to roll his eyes, all while ignoring the way his stomach knotted up. It was a good thing that he was a pro at deflection. "You know, Haley can take care of herself. She doesn't need you coming to her rescue,_ big brother _."_

 _"I know that," Lucas grumbled back. "But, that doesn't mean I'm going to sit back and let you mistreat her."_

 _Nathan's thin line of patience was waning even further. There were so many turns this conversation could take and he wanted to avoid all of them. He pressed his lips together and chose to stay silent, hoping that Lucas would just drop it._

 _"I know how you are with girls, Nate," Lucas continued on, bitterness waning with caution._

 _Nathan gritted his teeth and the plastic cup in his hand bent under the pressure of his grip. He spoke in an icy tone. "I get it, Luke. No one will ever be good enough for your precious Haley. Good thing you don't have to worry about me."_

 _Lucas' sour and twisted expression softened at Nathan's cold tone. He looked like he was going to apologize, not that Nathan wanted to hear it, but was cut off by a ruckus coming from the living room adjacent to the kitchen. Exchanging confused glances, they headed towards the noise. When they rounded the corner, Nathan's blood boiled at the sight._

 _Chris had one arm around Haley's waist and his free hand gripping her arm. She was struggling to fight him off, while bystanders just laughed. Chris was obviously hurting her as her face was twisting in anguish. If he wasn't mistaken, there were a few tears slipping down her cheeks, too._

 _"Get off of me!" Haley cried, once again trying to push him off._

 _Without thinking twice, Nathan grabbed Chris by the back of the shirt and yanked him off of Haley. He backed him into a wall, his forearm resting heavily on Chris' throat and his free hand holding Chris' wrist against the wall. The commotion around Nathan faded away, leaving him to focus on nothing but the vile hatred running through his veins._

 _"You even think about touching Haley again and I promise you that you will never be able to play that little guitar of yours again," Nathan threatened. It pissed him off, even more, when Chris just smirked._

 _"It figures you'd come to her defense," Chris taunted, his voice coming out strained and puffy from Nathan choking him. "Tell me…how long have you been fucking her behind my back?"_

 _Nathan chuckled sarcastically to cover up the new surge of rage that wiped through him. Haley might have been a lot of things, but she wasn't a cheater. He wasn't sure what motivated Chris to say that, but he wasn't going to stand for it._

 _"Wouldn't you like to know?" Nathan answered cockily before ramming his knee into Chris' gut._

 _Nathan backed off when Chris let out a loud groan of pain and stumbled to the floor. He squared his shoulder's in triumph._

 _"Get the hell out of my house."_

 _Fifteen minutes had passed since Nathan's encounter with Chris and he still couldn't find Haley. He wasn't going to bother looking for her, as he allowed himself only one good guy moment a day, but Peyton and Brooke had started whining and he knew he wasn't going to win against the dynamic duo._

 _Ascending the steps towards his bedroom, he paused when he heard a round of sniffles coming from the bathroom. Furrowing his eyebrows, he approached the bathroom and his heart dropped at the sight._

 _Haley was on her knees on the bathroom floor. Her head was in her hands and her shoulders were shaking as she cried. He'd never seen Haley cry before…in fact, he was convinced that she couldn't cry._

 _"Hales?"_

 _When she glanced up at him, he almost fell to his knees. Gone was his irritation and his previous desire to protect her returned. He'd known his emotions to change quickly when it came to her…but never that fast. It was like his brain had completely shut down and everything from that moment on was just him moving on auto-pilot. Nothing else seemed to matter._

 _She looked surprised to see him as she frantically wiped the tears from her face. "I'm sorry. I must look so stupid. God, I'm such a girl."_

 _Nathan swallowed the lump that'd formed in his throat and gave a quick shake of his head. "No…uh, no you're not."_

 _He couldn't think of anything else to say. Comforting people wasn't his strong suit…especially crying girls. Normally, he avoided them at all costs. But he felt compelled to stay with Haley for reasons he couldn't explain._

 _The small smile she flashed at him lacked luster._

 _Pressing her palms against the tile of the bathroom floor, Haley attempted to lift herself up from the ground. She stumbled back a little, but Nathan was quick to grab her arms. A sheepish expression crossed her face as he helped her up. Once on her feet, she wobbled a little and Nathan quickly banded an arm around her waist._

 _"I think I need to lay down," she mumbled, leaning her body more against his._

 _Awkwardly, Nathan nodded and led her back to one of the spare bedrooms in his parent's beach house. Once inside one of the spare rooms, he helped her on to the bed and chuckled when she immediately cuddled up to one of the pillows._

 _"Stay with me."_

 _Her voice was muffled by the pillow, but Nathan still heard her loud and clear. He'd been fully prepared to leave and let her sleep it off, but his resolve crumbled with that single plea. No matter what anyone says, Nathan Scott had a weakness. A major one._

 _There was no reason to think about it…he was staying._

 _~x~_

 _Nathan had his arm casually laying across her stomach. His thumb is tucked beneath the hem of her white tank top, running small circles into her skin. He could still hear the faint thumping of the music and muffled voices of the party going on below them. He knew that he should probably get back down there, but he was too exhausted to move. Or, so he told himself._

 _"Nathan?" Haley asked groggily, breaking the silence._

 _Head tilted up slightly, Nathan looked over at her. Her eyes were still puffy and that weight in his heart returned. She sounded so small, so unsure of herself….so not Haley. She was always the fierce one—the one who always held her head high and never gave up no matter how hard things got. She was the strongest person he knew—he'd never say it out loud, but he admired her strength. He wished he was as strong as she was._

 _He was going to kill Chris for breaking that part of her._

 _"Yeah?" he finally managed to respond._

 _"Have you ever been in love?"_

 _Her question threw him off guard and his stomach knotted up. The rhythm his heart seemed to sputter as if it were a car suddenly running out of gas._

 _"I don't," he began with an awkward laugh. "I'm not capable of love."_

 _A sad smile graced her lips and Nathan couldn't explain the feeling that came over him. She slowly inched herself closer to him and he swore he could count every freckle dotting her nose._

 _"I don't think that's true," she mumbled. "I think you're just scared."_

 _Nathan didn't know how to respond to that, so he did what he always did when things go to serious—he deflected the question. "What about you? Have you ever been in love?"_

 _Haley shook her head and Nathan knitted his eyebrows in surprise._

 _"Not even with Chris?"_

 _He didn't realize he was holding his breath until she shook her head again. He tried to pretend that the moment of relief that he felt was all in his head._

 _He wasn't sure what was happening at that moment. They'd never really talked like this and there was a sense of vulnerability in the air. Surprisingly, Nathan kind of liked it. Normally at the first sight of his guard dropping down, he ran._

 _It was then that he realized how close they'd gotten like there was some kind of gravitational pull between them. His eyes dropped to her lips and he swallowed hard when her tongue slipped out to wet them. Even with remnants of mascara streaking her face and puffy eyes, she was still the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen._

 _"I love when you look at me like that," Haley whispered hoarsely, her nose brushing against his._

 _His eyes fluttered, but he forced to keep them open. "Like what?" he answered thickly._

 _She didn't get the chance to answer him._

 _He wasn't sure who kissed who first. But the feeling of her soft lips against his had his entire body buzzing and his forehead creasing. She tasted of something sweet that he couldn't name mixed in with the piquant taste of vodka. On many occasions, he had imagined what it would be like to kiss her. He always caught himself staring at her lips whenever she spoke to him…hell even when she yelled him. However, the reality was so much better than anything he'd ever imagined._

 _Admittedly, he'd kissed a lot of girls over the years…but none of those kisses felt like this. Those kisses were usually sloppy and frantic, tongues diving in and out of mouths and heavy petting from wandering hands. This kiss was slow…and dare he say it, passionate._

 _A low groan pulled from the back of his throat when her tongue slide through his parted lips. The hand that was resting on her stomach slid up the length of her body and to the back of her head. His fingers tangled themselves in her hair as the kiss intensified. There was a small whisper of a voice in the back of his head urging him to take control. To push her back against the bed and coax what he'd been craving since the moment he laid eyes on her out of her._

 _He ignored that voice._

 _Almost as soon as the kiss started, it was over. Nathan's eyes remained closed for several long seconds, his body still buzzing. When he finally recovered, he opened his eyes to see that Haley had her back towards him. Sighing, he turned on his back and stared up at the ceiling._

 _That kiss had woken something inside of him and he quickly realized just how wrong he was about love. God, he was so screwed._

~x~

That happened during their sophomore year and neither one of the has spoken it since. Nathan tells himself again and again that it was just a fluke. Haley was upset and drunk and he wasn't exactly sober either. But he thought it about it often—how soft her lips were, how amazing she tasted, the feeling of her hands running through his hair.

He'd lost count of how many times he hooked up with girls to try and fuck her off his mind. The success rate for that isn't very high, but he keeps trying.

Sinking lower in the chaise chair, his eyes float over to the subject of his thoughts. She's walking up the pool steps, wringing the excess water out of her hair. Her tiny excuse for a bikini is molded perfectly to her body. The purple halter top accentuates her already ample breasts and the white bottoms are riding low on her hips. When she reaches her beach chair and swivels to grab her towel, he almost swallows his tongue.

That tattoo of his jersey number at the base of her spine is on display for everyone to see. (Who knew that a drunken dare would turn out to be the biggest turn on? Fuck, it does him in every time).

In a matter of seconds, he's painfully hard, which is usually the case whenever Haley is around. It's not his fault that Haley is pure sex, the definition of perfect, and the best part of it all is that she has no idea.

He arches an eyebrow when she glances at him from over her shoulder. A smirk that could easily rival his own spreads across her face. He's been caught gawking, but he's not the least bit ashamed.

Just like the tease she is, she starts putting on a show for him. Slowly and sensually, she grabs the towel along her wet skin, paying special attention to the column of her throat, the curves of her breasts, and between her shapely legs. He itches to run his tongue along the path the towel is taking.

Every few seconds, she gazes up at from beneath her eyelashes, bottom lip resting between her teeth. The gleam in her eye as him swallowing down a groan. He swears his body temperature spikes a million degrees.

It's game time.

She had perfected this little game they have been playing over the last four years Most of the time, he found himself on the losing team but God, he loves this game.

At this point, the majority of the party guests had dispersed from the pool and pool area. Some were laying in the sand beneath patio, waiting for the firework show to start. Others had disappeared inside of the house, probably making use of all of the empty bedrooms the Scott beach house had to offer them. This provides him with the perfect opportunity to be alone with Haley.

He waits until she starts to walk past him—completely ignoring his presence—before grabbing on to her wrist and pulling her into his lap. He smirks when she lets out a surprised gasp, a shiver of his own running down his spine at the feel of her hot skin against his bare chest.

"You almost gave me a heart attack." Haley hisses out. Her soft hands trace over the contours in shoulders and dip down the hard planes of his chest.

Nathan's hands tighten around her waist as he leans, his lips hover just slightly over the shell of her ear. "I missed you tonight," he purrs before taking the lobe her ear in his mouth, sucking it gently.

Her body quivers visibly at his husky and lust laden words. In the pool light, he sees her eyes glaze over as she scratches her nails down the hard cords of his stomach. His hips jerk upward in response and Haley smirks down at him. Keeping that smirk on her face, Haley shifts her body so she's straddling him, her thighs pressed tightly around his torso. She slides her palms up his chest and into his hair. Once her fingers are tangle within the strands, she begins to grind her hips into his.

"I can see that," she slurs back. "Looks like someone might need to take a dip in the pool."

"Why would I need the pool when I have you to handle the situation," He grunts back, his eyes fluttering closed when she speeds up her movements. It's a sin how good it feels even with the lack of skin-on-skin contact.

Haley stays silent, but her eyes are twinkling with mischief and desire.

Nathan digs his fingers into the flesh of her hips and bites down on his bottom lip. The warmth of her against him and the friction that she's creating with the movement of her hips is bringing him an unbelievable amount of pleasure. Haley James is the only person capable of bringing him to the edge without any real touching. It makes Nathan feel like a teenage boy being grinded against for the first time and that is slightly jarring to his ego but it also feels too damn good for him too think much of it. So damn good and so damn intoxicating.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum just by doing this," Nathan groans before burying his head in the crook her neck. He wastes no time sprinkling kissing along the sensuous curves of her neck. His kisses are soft, yet rough and demanding at the same time, causing her to yank harder on his hair. Her sultry gasps and moans are spurring him on further.

Forcing herself away from Nathan's tantalizing mouth, Haley halts her movements and sits further back on his thighs. Nathan stares back at her, the confusion evident in his eyes. He isn't naïve to think that what they were doing was going to go any farther than this but he definitely didn't think she would be stopping so soon. But when he sees the glint of trouble in her eyes along with the feel of her hands dancing across the skin of his bare chest, he knows this is far from over.

Haley's smirk widens at him as she ran her fingers over his clothed member, teasing him through the polyester fabric of his swim trunks. Her movements are slow but deliberate and he's racing towards insanity. Liquid fire rushes through his veins as he tosses head back and grips her hips tighter. She's driving him absolutely crazy.

"Baby, please," Nathan chokes out, his hips jerking upward. He's never too afraid to beg when it comes to her.

Finally, Haley decides to end her teasing and slips her hand beneath the waistband of his swim trunks. She wraps her hand firmly around him and strokes him slowly. Nathan moans low in his throat, his breathing coming out in heavy pants. God, her small and delicate hand feels amazing working him over like she is.

"Faster," he orders, his voice strained in pleasure.

Haley complies, her hand moving at a frantic pace. She leans forward so that her lips were hovering over his ear. "Are you close?" She whispers hotly.

He nods his head frantically. "So close."

"Tell me when you're about to cum."

He just nods again, not really caring what her motives were. His brain has turned to mush. It amazes him that a single touch of her delicate hand was enough to make him lose all sense of himself. He feels the pleasure building, rapidly heading towards the release he is so desperately craving. Just a few more stroke, a few more twists…

His fingers are bruising the flesh of her hips. "Fuck," he pants. "Baby, I'm about-"

She quickly removes her hand from him. "In your dreams, Nathan." She purs perfectly at him before hopping off of his lap.

~x~

He's still fuming when he stumbles into the kitchen. Haley's known for having a devious streak, but he never thought in a million years she would be _that_ devious. Fucking bitch.

He swears he can still feel her small hand on him and the lust is still racing through his veins. It's becoming borderline painful and he knows that he'll eventually have to take care of it, in whatever way presents itself first. Desire and anger is seriously a dangerous combination for him.

That entire situation seems to have wiped the blinders off of him and he's back to being glad that after this weekend, he won't see her again for a long while. Maybe he'll finally find some fucking peace.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Haley perched on the counter, Brooke and Lucas surrounding her. Her legs are crossed and the smirk on her face as his temper spiking even further. Nothing pisses him off more than when she has the upper hand. Without sparing her a glance, he aggressively rips open the fridge and grabs himself another drink.

"I officially sent it my acceptance to Duke."

Nathan freezes when he hears what Haley tells Brooke and Lucas. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

"Wow," Lucas murmurs. "So that means you're officially going to be a Blue Devil, huh?"

"Looks like it."

Before Nathan can stop himself, he whips around to face his friends. "What the hell happened to Stanford?"

Haley smiles ruefully. "It didn't work out. You gonna show me around campus?"

How much more fucked could he possibly get?


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all so much for the reviews! You guys are amazing. Also, real quick, I just want to let you all know that I extended this to 5 parts because I got hit without another idea, haha. I'm sure you all don't mind ;)

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Part II — Girl Like You

Duke is everything Nathan ever wanted. The campus is beautiful and he's a part of something bigger now. He's in the big leagues now—playing in a fancier gym, working out in a more equipped facility, teaming up with other players that match his caliber. It feels more real, like he can finally breathe easily. He has the entire world as his fingertips now.

But, perhaps the best part about Duke was that it wasn't Tree Hill. No one knew him here. He had no prodigal title to live up to or grave expectations to answer to. There were no familiar faces.

Well, except one and well, at least, it _was_ everything that he ever wanted.

Being an athlete at Duke had its perks. One of those perks was living in an apartment complex just outside of campus instead of the shoebox-sized dorms. Unfortunately for Nathan, that perk had quickly turned into a disadvantage.

Situations like these rarely happen, but the freshmen class was slightly larger than average and since Haley made the decision to attend Duke so late, the dorms had filled up. She could have rented an apartment of her own, but Nathan's mother had jumped in with an enthusiastic "well, Nathan wasn't assigned a roommate. She can stay with him!" He wanted to protest, but then Lydia James hit him with her dazzling small and he knew he couldn't say no. No one ever told Lydia James "no."

So here he was…helping Haley move into his two-bedroom apartment. It was bound to be a disaster. The answer to how much more fucked he could possibly get was _a lot_. He'll never admit it out loud…but he's nervous. Terrified, even. His inhibitions around Haley are non-existent. She's his weakness in every way possible.

Lucas releases the last moving box from his grip and places it gently on top of the other boxes. "Jesus, how much shit does this girl have?!"

Nathan shrugs as he grabs two water bottles of the fridge and hands one over to Lucas. "She's a girl, Luke. What do you expect?"

Lucas nods his acquiesce to that statement as he takes a long drink of water. When he's done, he caps the bottle and places it on the black and gray marbled counter. Leaning against the counter, he props a hand on side. He's got that look on his face—the one that tells Nathan that he wants to say something, he's just not sure that he should.

"Whatever's on your mind, just say it," Nathan mumbles. He knows a lecture is coming, one that he's probably heard over a hundred times.

Lucas sighs as he runs a palm over his short, buzzed hair. "I know that it's not really my place, but I was wondering if you'd…you know, look out for Haley while she's here?"

Nathan's throat dries up at Lucas' request. Even though he was expecting a lecture, Lucas' question doesn't shock him. Lucas has always been protective over Haley, but it had definitely increased over the last few years. He could shake his head and remind him, yet again, that Haley is fully capable of taking care of herself. She's one of the strongest people he knows and never takes shit from everyone. She's a spitfire…a major one at that. But he knows that he even if Lucas didn't ask, he would've done it anyway.

"You know I will," he finally answers.

Lucas' shoulders slump in relief. "I know that I'm hard on you, Nate. But after what happened a couple years ago, I just can't risk—"

"You don't have to explain," Nathan forces out. He knows the story well. He lived it, just like Lucas did. He couldn't stomach another reminder. "I get it."

"Such slackers!" Haley sing-songs as she skips into the apartment through the propped open front door. "There are still more boxes in the back of my car."

"I'll get 'em," Lucas offers as he heads back out of the apartment.

Once he's gone, Nathan strolls over to Haley's room. Her room is right across from his with the bathroom they have to share adjacent to it. Leaning against the doorframe, he crosses his arms over his chest and watches as she patters around, unloading box after to box. Even without a single stroke of make-up on, her hair twisted into a messy bun, and an oversized sweatshirt on, she's nothing short of stunning.

"So, are you ever going to tell me why you're not at Stanford right now?" Nathan asks, breaking the silence.

She looks up at him briefly before returning her eyes to the box she's sifting through. Pulling out a small lamp, she begins to dust off the top. "My scholarship fell through."

"What? How?" Nathan questions further, forehead creasing.

She sighs tiredly like she's already answered this question more times than she could count. He momentarily feels bad for asking, but his curiosity gets the best of him.

"It was down to me and one other applicant. The other applicant was their first choice, because she had a slightly higher GPA than me by like one-tenth of a point. The only reason I got the scholarship was because she decided she didn't want to attend Stanford anymore. But last minute, she changed her mind. So, they yanked it from me and gave it back to her," Haley explained, putting the lamp down on her bedside table.

"That's bullshit," Nathan barks. "They can't do that."

"Apparently, they can," Haley sighs.

He watches as she busies herself by digging through more boxes. She's avoiding his gaze, but he can still hear the hurt in her voice. For as long as he's known her, Stanford had always been her dream. He could still picture her face whenever she'd go on one of her rants about how beautiful the campus was and about how she couldn't picture herself anywhere but there. Her smile whenever she talked about it…it was indescribable.

Not to mention, she's the perfect candidate for that school. She's so incredibly smart.

"Are you alright?" Nathan finds himself asking.

She shrugs, flopping down on her sheet-less bed. "It wasn't meant to be, I guess. But, I'm okay…really."

She's brushing over her feelings like she always does. One thing Haley James hates appearing is weak. Sometimes he wants to call her on it, tell her that it's okay to feel the way she does. She doesn't always have to hide behind a smile or a quick "I'm okay." Maybe one day.

"It's Stanford's loss, anyway," Nathan says sincerely. "As far as I'm concerned, they're fools for not begging you to still come there. You would've kicked ass out there."

"You could, you can be pretty sweet when you want to be," Haley comments with a slight smile.

He sauces her a wink. "Don't get used to it."

~x~

Nathan slips into the love seat—the only open seat in his living room. Lucas and Peyton are curled up on the couch, while Brooke is sprawled out on the furthers recliner. It's the last free Sunday they have before classes start on Tuesday. Lucas, Peyton, and Brooke decided to come up for the weekend, mostly to see Nathan (and Haley's) new place.

"Alright, so who's lap am I sitting on?" Haley asks, emerging from her bedroom. She'd changed into a pair of black shorts, showing off her shapely legs and a tight white tank-top.

Nathan licks his lips at the sight. Living with her was going to be hell but in the most pleasurably sinful way possible. It's not gonna end well for him, but he was going to bask in the benefits while he could.

Nathan reclines further into the couch and props one arm along the pillows. He pats his lap and his lips lift into a wicked smirk. "Bring your sweet ass over here."

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Lucas shoot him a warning glare, but he ignores it.

Haley rolls her eyes but approaches him anyway. Dramatically, she plops down on Nathan's lap, making a show of trying to get comfortable. His arms automatically wrap around her small waist and he grits his teeth was she wiggles her ass against him.

"I don't remember this couch being so hard and lumpy," Haley quips sneaking further into his chest.

"Mmm, well that's my co—"

"Seriously?!" Lucas pops his head up. His eyes are narrowed into angry slits, a look that Nathan is well acquainted with. He can be such a cock block sometimes, with good reason, but it still pisses Nathan off.

"What?" Nathan asks innocently. "We aren't doing anything."

"I'm going to kick your ass," Lucas grumbles.

"Lucas!" Brooke chides, propping herself up on her elbows.

Haley slides off Nathan's lap and grabs one of the throw pillows. As hard as she can, she whips the pillow at Lucas. "Oh, stop it, Luke. Have a sense of humor for once."

"I do have a sense of humor," Lucas argues back.

"That remains to be seen," Haley shoots back.

"Alright, children," Peyton barks, stifling her giggles. "I don't know about you all, but I'd like to actually watch a movie, not argue."

Lucas growls something unintelligible before burying his head back in Peyton's mess of curls. That seems to be the end of it. Nathan reaches for the remote and turns the movie on, cranking up the volume. He lays sideways on the couch so he's spooning Haley and she curls into his chest, but not before pulling the blanket off the back of the couch and craping it over them.

For the first hour of the movie, Nathan tries to focus his attention on the action on the screen, but he reaches no avail. He can't ignore how it good it feels to Haley pressed against him like she is. He feels an intense warmth wherever their bodies are touching and his heart flutters in his chest whenever she sighs contently, burying her head further into his chest. The smell of her—the vanilla scent of her shampoo and a sweet scent that is so inherently Haley, it's intoxicating.

It's not about sexual gratification at that moment and that realization rockets through him. He hates thinking about the deeper meaning behind every touch, every slurred word that's just a deflection of what's really going through his head…every moment where he wishes that what he really wants isn't the truth.

Well, it wasn't about sexual gratification until Haley decided she wanted to play.

She shifts her body a little, pressing back against him. When she wiggles her ass against him, Nathan swallows hard. His hand slips down her body to rest on her hip. Gripping it with his palm, he hauls her harshly against him. Every tilt of her hips is a tantalizing movement, causing his breathing to come out in heavy pants. She's perfected the art of driving him crazy, the drive of her hips slowing, stopping, only to start up again.

This time, though, she's not going to win.

He darts his eyes around the dark room. Lucas' back is to them and Peyton looks to be asleep. Brooke is definitely sleeping, her forearm resting over her eyes.

"Haley," he croons, finger pressing indents into her hips. Slowly, he brushes his fingers over her hip bone, dipping them into the crevices of her inner thigh. His actions cause her to falter, a shiver rocking through her body.

He uses her falter to gain control. He teases her relentlessly, brushing his fingertips over the sensitive spaces on her inner thigh. Occasionally, he sweeps his fingers over her clothed center. He's gentle but direct. She's fairly shaking in his arms, whimpering as she tries to align her body further into his touch. He knows his pace isn't nearly enough for her, but it's his turn to play.

Haley thinks she's slick when she clamps her thighs together as his hand drifts back to her hip, cutting him off. Brushing the hair away from her neck, he litters a series of wet kisses along the column of her neck to his ear.

"Legs open, baby," he whispers hotly in her ear.

Without even hesitation, her body relaxes and her thighs part for him. Smirk firmly etched on his face, he glides his hand beneath the waistband of her shorts. He groans, eyes crossing when he realizes that she's not wearing anything under her shorts.

"You're gonna be the death of me one day, Haley James," Nathan rasps faintly.

"I could say the same thing about you," she pants, wrapping her fingers around his wrist.

He drags his fingers over her in small and tight circles. Her quiet mewls of pleasure and the feel of her nails digging into his flesh go straight to his groin.

"Fuck, that feels so good," she moans as she rocks her hips.

She's biting her lip and her cheeks are flushed pink. She's panting his name in harsh breaths. The very little self-control he has stretches thin. He could so easily toss her over his shoulder and haul her into his room. But the implications of that…neither of them can handle it.

He senses she's close when she starts squirming. Her eyes are tightly shut and her grip on his wrist tightens.

"Don't," he demands.

Haley gasps as her eyes flutter open only to close again.

"I said, don't cum," Nathan repeats, the sweep of his fingers slowing down so that they're barely brushing over her.

A sharp, quiet whimper floats out of her mouth. She's slightly squirming against him now, her nails digging harsher into the flesh of his arm. The look in her eyes is the hottest thing he's ever seen. The gloss in her eyes tells him how desperate she is…how badly she wants it. She presses back against him again, her ass rubbing him just _so_. He hisses passed clenched teeth as he throbs in response.

He's playing with fire and he knows it.

"Payback's a bitch, isn't?" Nathan drawls huskily.

Now she looks like she wants to kill him and he chuckles lowly.

His hands lightly trail back up to the inside of her thighs and her hips buck towards his hands. Haley keens another needy whimper and he smirks to himself. She's like putty in his hands.

"I want you to beg for it," he purrs, brushing his fingers against her in the lightest caress that has her back arching. Glancing around the living room, he's glad that most of their friends seemed to have passed out and that the volume of the movie was two dials too high.

Haley tilts her head back so it's rest on his shoulder. For a moment, he thinks that she's going to scold him, but nearly groans when her irritated scowl melts into a perfect pout. One of her hands slides into his hair, her fingers tangling in the thick strands.

"P-please," she mutters hoarsely and Nathan wonders if it's possible for him to fall over the edge without even being touched. "Please, Nathan, please let me cum."

Nathan planned on teasing her a little more, but there was no way he could deny her now.

He keeps his eyes locked on hers as he finally touches her again. This time, his movements are purposeful and quick. She's biting down hard on her bottom lip, trying to stifle her moans. A few slip out, quiet and quick squeaks. She's yanking on his hair and rocking her hips in tune with his hand. It's not long before she goes rigid against him and his name passes her lips in a mindless chant.

Now they're tied 1 to 1.

~x~

The first couple weeks of classes pass by without a hitch. With his mandatory study sessions with the team and pre-season conditioning, and Haley picking up a tutoring gig, they're like two ships passing in the night. Nathan doesn't mind. The season is approaching fast and Nathan can't afford any distractions, especially ones induced by Haley.

Living with Haley had turned out to be a lot easier than he originally anticipated. He thought it was going to be a test to his self-control. After all, temptation only slept a couple feet from him every night. He can't deny that there haven't been times when he considered throwing caution to the wind, especially whenever he caught glimpses of Haley slipping into her room after a shower with only a thin towel wrapped around her body or when she'd parade around in shorts and a tight t-shirt. She has no idea how sexy she is and it only serves to turn him on more.

But so, far, he's been able to keep his cool…he's just hoping he can keep it up.

Nathan quietly slips into the dark apartment with his athletic bag still draped over his shoulder. The neon green lights on the microwave blink back at him: 2:19 in the morning. He'd been at the gym, playing a few pick-up games with a couple other guys on the team. They had a pre-season tournament coming up and wanted to get in as much practice as they could. Before they realized it, the night hours had crept up on them.

"So, this is what they meant when they said, 'things go bump in the night.'"

Nathan jumps a little, his hand flying to cover his now-rapidly beating heart. "Fuck! Haley, you almost gave me a heart attack."

Through the tiny streams of moonlight, he sees that Haley is perched on the counter in the kitchen. Her legs are crossed and she's dressed in what looks to be a silk white robe. In one hand, she has a carton of ice cream and in the other is a spoon.

She giggles. "My bad."

Dropping his bag to the ground, he shrugs out of his jacket and tosses it on the hook. "What the hell are you still doing up?"

Using the end of the spoon, she points towards the laundry room. "I couldn't sleep so I decided to do laundry."

It's then he hears the humming and rattling of the washer. "Just when I thought you couldn't get any stranger."

"What about you? What has you out so late? Hot date?" she ponders as he leans against the counter across from her.

His patented smirk makes its way on to his face. "Wow, so many questions. Do I detect some jealousy?"

She scoffs as she shovels another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. "In your dreams, maybe."

He pushes himself off the counter and saunters over to her. Boxing her in with a hand on either side of her hips, he wiggles his eyebrows. "You wanna hear about my dreams?"

She laughs wholeheartedly, a sound that's like music to his ears. "I'm sure I can imagine what your dreams are like."

He smiles before he glances down at the carton of ice cream she's eating. He chuckles when he realizes that it's Rocky Road. "You do realize that you're eating my ice cream, right?"

The innocent look on her face as she puts another spoonful in her mouth has his entire body heating up.

"Are you going to share?" he asks gravelly.

Haley nods as she digs her spoon back into the container and scoops up a small spoonful. She extends the spoon out to him, but just as he's about the close his mouth around it, she tips the spoon so it slides down her chest. Just like that, the air shifts from playful to sultry.

"Oops," she gasps innocently. The sound of her voice reminds him of velvet.

In rapture, Nathan observes as the ice cream glides down her cleavage, leaving a milky-brown path in its wake. Through his thick eyelashes, he looks up at her. Her teeth are gnawing at her bottom lip and she has that dark glint, almost gold like flecks, of devilishness in her eye. One perfect eyebrow is arched as if she's challenging him.

He'd consider himself a fool for walking away from a sight like this.

Keeping his eyes locked on hers, he dips his head down runs his tongue along the path of the ice cream, earning a sharp gasp from her. The taste of chocolate and the taste of her sweet skin explodes on his tongue. All the while, she tilts her head back and loosens the tie on her robe. Shrugging it off her shoulders, the silk robe floats off her body and spreads out across the counter.

All his blood rushes south at the sight before him. Haley has nothing on but a pair of black lacy panties, hair tasseled over her shoulders like she'd just been thoroughly fucked. Her skin seems to glow in the streams of moonlight peaking in from the blinds. His mouth waters with the urge to kiss every inch while silently wondering if it felt as soft as it looked.

His heart slams against his ribs like the wings of a trapped bird.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he husks, trailing his eyes over his form like a scavenger.

She gives a throaty laugh. "You're only saying that because I'm basically naked."

His eyes snap to her face. Reaching up a shaking hand, he grazes the tips of his fingers along her cheek until he's cupping her face. The pad of his thumb glides over her swollen red bottom lip. "I'm saying that because it's true."

Even in the dark, he knows her cheeks are flushing pink.

He gives her crossed legs a soft pat, to which she responds by separating them. Stepping in-between her parted legs, he presses a palm to her lower stomach and gently pushes her until she's lying flat on her back. She props herself up slightly and shoots him a questioning look.

"Just relax," he soothes.

When he reaches for the carton of ice cream, realization dawns on her and she lies back down. Scrapping a little bit of ice cream from the bottom of the carton, he dribbles a line of ice cream around each of her nipples. A shiver rakes through her body, leaving goosebumps prickling on her skin.

With a hungry gaze, he swirls his tongue just around the outside of the chocolate line. A sharp gasp slips passed Haley's lips, her head bowing back. On his third trip around, she whimpers a sound that has entire body heating up.

"Please," she begs, spearing her fingers through his hair and directing his mouth to where she wants. Shit, there's nothing hotter than Haley when she takes control.

As soon as his mouth is on her, she moans loudly and her back arches off the counter. The yanking on his hair is borderline painful, but it also spurs him over further. Once all the ice scream is gone off her one breast, he switches to the other, giving it the same treatment.

"Nathan," she pants. "Don't stop."

Without taking his lips off of her, he blindly reaches for the carton. Distancing himself just enough, he dribbles another path of ice cream from her the center of her chest to the edge of her panties. He takes his time, licking and sucking every inch of skin available to him. She quivers beneath every lick, moans spilling out of her mouth.

"God, you taste so good," he groans, lips skimming down her navel. He can't take his eyes off her—the way she's squirming, how flushed her skin is, the way she's gnawing at her bottom lip, even the way her eyes are clenched shut. He can only imagine how wet she is right now.

He swears he's never tasted something so good before. Or engaged in something so erotic. Every inch of him feels like he's on fire, pure lust coursing through his veins.

"I think that's just the ice cream," Haley giggles, running her fingers through his hair.

"No, it's definitely you." He dips lower, his tongue running a line along the lacey edge of her panties.

"You're such a charmer," she gasps, completely breathless. Her back arches so much he swears he hears it crack.

Just as he slides his thumbs beneath the elastic of her panties, she sits up. She drags him up her body until their faces are aligned. Her arms wrap around his neck as she pressed her forehead against his. The sounds of their heavy breathing echoes around the vast kitchen.

His hands drift up her body. The pads of his thumbs brush the undersides of her breath and Haley inhales sharply. Brushing his nose against hers, he tilts his head and parts his lips. Just as he's about the kiss her, the washer buzzes loudly, signally the load is done.

Saved by the fucking bell.

~x~

He pulls a fresh t-shirt off his head and slams his locker shut. Grabbing a towel, he ruffles his hair a little to rid it of any excess water. On his way out of the locker room, he tosses the towel into the laundry room.

Anger is still coursing through his veins at the disappointing loss during the tournament. They were so close. At the end of the second half, they were only down 101 to 98 with five seconds left on the clock. The ball was in his hands and he had a clear shot. However, right when he went to take the shot, he lost his footing. Instead of the ball sailing through the hoop like it would have, it bounced off the rim.

It was a routine play and he fucked it up. He could hear his dad's voice echoing in his head—words of disappointment berating him, beating him…tearing him apart. He'll always be scarred like this, carrying out his dad's torturous memories even when he's miles and miles away. It's a sad reality of a distrusted heart.

Rounding the corner to where Haley is waiting for him, he stops in his tracks when he sees something that makes his blood boil even further.

Haley is leaning against the wall and she's not alone. Standing in front of her a tall and slender guy that Nathan doesn't recognize. His hair is a little too blonde and a little too long, falling into his eyes. He seems entranced by Haley, hanging on to her every word. That's not what bothers him. It's the fact that she seems to be reflecting the same energy, feeding into him. She's fluttering her eyelashes, something that she usually only does when she flirts. A finger is twirling around one of her curls as giggles fly out of her mouth.

Clearing his throat, he interrupts. "Hales, are you ready to go?"

She jumps, a look of surprise crosses her face as if she'd completely forgotten he exists. Her hand drops from his hair and she shoots him a quick nod.

Narrowing his eyes, he grits his teeth when she gives the guy she was talking to a quick hug. As she's walking away, Nathan hears her murmur a sultry "call me sometime" and his blood pressure skyrockets. This combined with his anger towards the game makes for a very dangerous situation. He's like a ticking time bomb, only seconds away from exploding.

The walk to his car is long and way too quiet. The quiet allows his brain to go into overdrive. _Tick. Tick. Tick._

"What's wrong?" Haley asks, breaking the long stretch of silence that formed between them.

They're approaching his car and Nathan considers just running the rest of the way, jumping in the front seat, and then taking off.

"Nathan?"

He doesn't want to say anything, practically bites down on his tongue until he draws blood. Realistically, it's none of his business and he knows that. He has zero ground to stand on. They aren't together—she can talk to whoever she wants to. She can date whoever she wants to. But that doesn't stop the murderous rage from burning through him.

He can't get it out of his head—the way he winked at her as he jogged away, her sly "call me sometime." He's jealous as fuck and he hates that he can't do anything about it.

"Who was that punk you were talking to?"

Once again, his mouth is quicker than his brain. He sounds sour and harsh even to his own ears.

"Who? Tyler?"

The way she says his name so casually like they'd known each other for years and Nathan's supposed to know exactly who he is, grinds his gears even further.

"Yeah, sure," he mutters. He can't look at her. He's afraid that if he does, he'll say things that he doesn't mean.

"He's one of my tutees. We were just talking about our next tutoring session," she explains. He hears the confusion and slight edge of hurt in her voice. He doesn't usually bark at her like he is, but he can't stop.

He's starting to think that maybe he really has hit rock bottom.

"'Call me sometime,'" he mocks bitterly. "Sounds more than just tutoring to me."

The scraping of her shoes against the asphalt comes to a screeching halt just as they reach his car. Glancing over his shoulder, she sees that she's smirking at him…her eyes dancing with amusement.

"You're jealous," she states confidently.

She always could read him better than anyone else. Usually, he basked in that. But right now, it was only pissing him off even more. Spinning around to face her, he sets his face into a hard line.

"I am not."

A wide smile stretches across her face. "You totally are."

This could go on for hours. They're both way too stubborn for their own good.

"Drop it, Haley," he warns icily. His tongue is quicker than his rationale. He's going to say something cruel, he can feel it.

"Not until you tell me what's got you so twisted," Haley presses on, crossing her arms over her chest. Her eyebrows are raised in defiance, a sure sign of her determination.

"Why does it matter?"

She widens her eyes, disbelief marks her features. "Why are you being so deflective?"

"Do you always answer a question with another question?"

"God, dammit, Nathan!"

He doesn't get jealous. Ever. Usually, when girls that he'd shacked up with tried to get a rise out of him, it rolled right off his back. He's paying for that lack of empathy now.

"Fine, you want to know what's wrong, I'll tell you. What's wrong is that you're fucking with me, jumping at any chances you can to get your hands on me, kissing me…and then I turn around and see you flirting with some guy."

The words spill out of his mouth and as soon as they're out there…he realizes how ridiculous he sounds. It's too late to take them back now.

Haley laughs sarcastically, her shoulders shaking and her head tossed back. "For fuck sake, it was nothing! I ran into him and I asked him when he wanted to schedule another session because we didn't get a chance to the last time we met. He said he didn't know his work schedule yet so I told him to call me. That's it."

He doesn't answer. He just stares at her like he doesn't believe a word that she's saying.

"You're being ridiculous, Nathan."

"I just hope you know that if you get involved with someone else, whatever this is between us goes away."

He gestures between the two of them. He knows that he's being unreasonable, but he can't stop. He's seeing red.

Haley pops her hands on her hips. Gone is her teasing tone and like a flick of a light switch, she looks pissed. There's a fire in her eyes—it tells him that she's not backing down either. "There shouldn't be anything between us."

Her words slice through him. He knows she's mocking him—throwing something that he has said to her many times back in his face. There's a pain in his stomach that almost sends him doubling over. "You think I don't know that, Haley?! We're like fire and gasoline. I'm no good for you and you're no good for me. Yet here we are."

Haley recoils like he just slapped her. She looks over at him with glassy eyes and that pain in his guts worsens. "What are you saying? That we should just walk away and pretend that the other doesn't exist? I don't know if I can do that."

He runs both of his hands through his hair. He doesn't even know what the point of this argument is anymore. There are so many thoughts swirling around in his mind and none of them are logical. The simplest solution to this is the one thing they can't do. They just can't go there and it's getting harder and harder to keep those boundaries set.

"I don't know," he says dejectedly. "Seeing you with that guy…I just…"

"You don't have that right."

"I know."

"I'm not yours, Nathan."

He snaps at her reminder. It's one of his weakest moments when it comes to her, albeit almost every moment with her is a weak moment.

He whips around and snakes his fingers in her blonde curls. Before she has a chance to question him, he has her pinned against the side of his SUV and his lips on hers. She gasps in surprise, giving him the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue between her lips. She doesn't protest, instead melts against him. She grabs fistfuls of his shirt and pulls him closer until their bodies as close as they can get without him being inside her.

He kisses her fiercely as he tries to convey everything he feels into that one kiss. Her soft moans and the way she's grazing her teeth against his lips are making him dizzy with need. He needs to slow things down before he allows things to get too far. Every time he lets himself get close to her like this, he chips away at his resolve.

When his body finally starts to listen to the alarms in his head, he slows down the kiss until he's simply pressing gentle pecks to her lips. He rests his forehead on hers so their heaving breathing mingles.

"Nathan." Haley's raspy voice calls out.

His head shakes in agony. He hates the way his heart lurches whenever she says his name. His slides his hands out of her hair and cups her face. He swallows down the dryness in his throat, but that doesn't curb the rusty tone.

"I know you aren't," he breathes. "But you have no idea how badly I wish that you were."

With that, he distances himself and drops his car keys into her palms. Without giving her a chance to respond, he turns, stuffs his hands in his pockets, and begins the long walk home.


	3. Chapter 3

I meant to update this a lot sooner but I went on a mini vacation! But I am back! Thank you again for all your amazing reviews :)

P.S. If you're confused about some things, good. You're supposed to be. I was inconspicuous about some things on purpose, especially the reason Naley can't necessarily "be together." There are actually two reasons: one being Lucas, which I'm sure you guys have caught on to. You'll find out why he's so protective of her in this chapter. And the second reason you'll find out soon!

P.S.S. There is a part of this chapter that I am extremely nervous about. It is probably the kinkiest, for lack of a better word, smutty scene I've ever written (in my eyes, anyway). It may not seem like it...but I am still extremely uncomfortable with posting these kinds of things, mostly because I feel like it puts me under a microscope. Anyway...enjoy!

* * *

Part Three — Like You Were Mine

A party is just what he needs—a plethora of alcohol to numb his feelings, music that's so loud he can't even hear his own thoughts, and a never-ending selection of girls that he can get himself lost in. He's begging for some kind of distraction at this point, especially after how rough the last couple of weeks have been.

Since the night he kissed Haley again, Nathan's made a point to completely avoid her. It was cowardly, but he couldn't help it. After his declaration that night, he can't help but feel like he crossed a line. Haley makes him feel vulnerable and he doesn't handle being vulnerable well. It causes him to shut down, which was exactly happened after that night.

So instead of facing his problems head-on, he hides. He makes the decision to be gone as much as possible, only coming home when he's sure Haley is asleep. Practice starting makes this easier for him. On the days where he had no choice but to stay home, he locked himself in his room. He's just like his father and it kills him.

His jaw clicks when he spots Haley across the room from him…and she's not alone. Tyler is lounging on the couch next to her with his arm casually laying across the back. From where he's sitting, it looks as if he's rubbing her shoulder with the pad of his thumb. She looks cozy pressed up against him, laughing at almost everything that comes out of his mouth. He knew that they'd been spending a lot of time together the past few weeks—something about being in the same music class and oh, Haley's also his tutor. He'd been able to ignore their connection, mostly because it'd been out of sight. But now that it was right in front of him, he felt sick.

His stomach twists in pain at the sight of them. The painful feeling of jealousy burns through him and he hates it. It's a battle inside of his head between two small, annoying voices. One voice is trying to justify what he's seeing, whispering comments of "maybe they're just friends." The other voice is reminding him yet again that he doesn't have the right to care…she's not his. He wants to kill both of those voices.

What the hell is this girl doing to him?

Deciding that he's had enough and can't handle torturing himself anymore, he disappears into the kitchen. He needs another drink. Drinking himself silly is a terrible coping mechanism, but it's all he's got at the moment.

He's leaning against the counter, another beer in his hand, when Haley rounds the corner. He wants to ignore how good she looks, but it's like his brain and his eyes are operating on two separate wavelengths. Her red peplum top meshes perfectly with her lightly tanned skin, while her leather pants give even more definition to her shapely legs. Her hair is a curly mess—all natural—just the way he likes it, with a light dusting of make-up.

"Hm, well if it isn't my long, lost roommate," Haley drawls as she comes up next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, she watches as she reaches over the counter and grabs the fifth of coconut Smirnoff, pouring a healthy amount into her red solo cup. "Where've you been?"

"Around," he answers coyly.

"Oh, so mysterious," Haley jokes, waving her fingers as if she were sitting in front of a crystal ball.

"I see you're here with Tyler," he mumbles. He's obviously fishing for information, but it's like his mouth has a mind of its own.

Haley shakes her head and that fills him with more happiness than it should. "We just happened to run into each other."

"Hm, how convenient."

"Don't start, Nathan."

"Are you fucking him?"

Haley's mouth drops open at his brazen question. He isn't expecting her to answer, but his curiosity got the best of him. Curiosity or the incessant need to know? Damn him and his quick, stupid mouth.

"You're such an ass," Haley mumbles in response. The deflection of his question sets something off inside of him and he wants to hate it, but doesn't. He's starting to get tired of fighting the feelings that he knows are there.

Recklessness. Self-destruction. Fuck playing by the rules. He was never the good guy, so why should he start now?

He has to act fast before she detaches from him completely and he's left to wallow alone for another night.

Just as she's about to walk away, Nathan slips his fingers in the belt loops of her jeans and pulls her against him. He settles her in between his thighs, his hips are cradling hers. He expects her to push him off, but instead, she drapes her arms around his neck and slides her fingers between the short hairs on the back of his neck.

"You love it," he murmurs before bowing his head into the crook of her neck. He brushes his lips along the slender column, starting at the juncture of her shoulder to the edge of her jaw. His lips curl into a smirk against her skin when she slumps against him and soft, content sighs pass her lips.

"You didn't answer my question," Nathan prods again.

She shudders against him when he closes his lips on her pulse point. He sucks gently, earning an almost mute moan from her. Her blunt nails track down the back of his neck and takes in a shuddery breath. She's putty in his hands.

"I'm not," she finally confirms.

Nathan bites back a satisfactory smile, burying his head further into the crook of her neck.

"Wipe that smug look off your face," she pants, tracing her hands over the curves of his shoulders. She grips at them when nips his way the edge of her jaw.

"What smug look?" he asks innocently just as he reaches her lips, barely brushing his over hers. He tries to keep his expression blank and nonchalant, eyes darting between her and her lips. He bites down hard on the inside of his cheek to suppress a groan when her tongue darts out to wet her lips.

His breath hitches in his throat when she tilts her head and in leans in. His eyes flutter and just as they're about to kiss, she turns her head.

"Fucking tease."

Haley giggles as she pulls away, grabbing a hold of both of his hands to pull her with him. "Hmm…you say that now."

"Where are we going?" Nathan asks both amused and confused.

"You'll see."

She leads him through the thick crowd and up a set of stairs. The entire time, he can't help but think how right her hand feels in his. Her hand is warmer and smaller than he expected, but he loves how snuggly it fits into his. Not being able to resist the urge, he brushes his thumb over the back of her hand a few times. He watches with baited breath as she pauses for just a second, looks down at their joined hands. He can breathe normally again when a small smile graces her lips.

Before he realizes it, she pulls him into a random room and locks the door behind them. At first glance, it looks like a guest room of some sort—fairly empty except a bed with a basic creamed colored comforter and a small dresser.

With a saucy wink, Haley gently pushes him backward until his knees hit the edge of the bed. He tumbles to the bed, legs hanging off the side as he props his body up on his elbows. A teasing smirk is firmly planted on his face. "Well, Haley James, you got me all alone. Whatever will you do to me?"

She saunters over to him with a healthy sway to her hips and Nathan doesn't dare take his eyes over her. Reaching him, her hands slide up and down her chest as she leans in. Her hair drapes over the both of them like a curtain as she kisses him slowly. It's a kiss that he swears he feels throughout his entire body, sparks of warmth rushing through him.

He tilts his head back when she breaks the kiss and trails her lips down his jaw to his neck. Sighs and hitches of breath slip past his lips as her kisses dip lower, her teeth and tongue occasionally grazing the sensitive flesh. He feels her small hands start to fumble with the buttons on his black dress shirt, soft lips sucking lightly across his collarbone. His heart jump ropes in his chest when she slips open the first button.

"Shit," he hisses passed clenched teeth when she unbuttons the rest of his shirt, leaving a wet kiss on every new exposed inch of skin. Electric shocks race through his veins.

By the time Haley reaches the last button, she's on her knees in front of him and if it isn't the hottest sight Nathan's ever seen. Her dark eyes are glinting back at him, flecks of pure lust and rascality shining back at him. Her perfect pink lips are curled into a smirk that he knows means the best kind of trouble.

She glides her delicate fingers along his thighs, her palms scraping against the coarse fabric of his jeans. His hips buck forward when she trickles them over the tent in his jeans and hooks her fingers on his belt buckle.

He's on fire. He's shaking. He knows Haley loves to tease him, but he's not sure he can handle it tonight.

"Someone's a little eager," Haley purrs. Her voice is like a sultry velvet. Slowly, she undoes his belt buckle.

He feels his jeans loosen from his body and he lifts up a little when he feels her tug at them. As she pulls down his jeans and his boxers, she litters a series of kisses from hip bone to hip bone, completely ignoring the place he needs her the most. He's squirming at this point, panting heavily.

"Jesus fuck, Hales," he practically whines when her hands massage his inner thighs and her lips leave a burning trail of wet kisses down his navel.

"What do you want, Nathan?" she whispers huskily. Her hot breath rushes against him and he grits his teeth.

"I can't…fuck, Hales."

Nathan's as incoherent outwardly as he is inward. Even the slightest touch from her has his brain melting. He expects her to tease him some more, torture him to the point of insanity like she normally does. He's taken by surprise, literally, when she takes him in her hand and bows her head. As soon as her lips wrap around him, his mind goes blank. A long, deep moan flows out of him as his eyes squeeze shut.

They have to make an interesting sight, he muses. His arms, with his shirt half off and twisted, are straining to keep him upright. His jeans and boxers are bunched up at his knees, while Haley is on hers. One hand is buried in the thick strands of Haley's hair, while the other one is fisting the comforter.

This is the first time she's ever gone down on him—although he lost count of the number of times he imagined what it would be like. The reality was so much better than anything he could have ever dreamed.

"Fuck, that feels so good."

She hums in response, sending another wave of pleasure through him. Every swipe of her tongue and curl of her lips has him racing towards the end in record time. She's not the least bit shy, using every single thing that she can to her advantage. He swears nothing has ever felt this good before.

"Shit, Hales, you gotta…you gotta stop," he puffs out, gently pulling on the strands of her hair. When she doesn't, he swears he sees stars as his eyes roll to the back of his head. Every muscle in his body is strained as his hips jerk a little. He collapses back on the back as he lets out a guttural moan.

It takes him a few seconds to recover. His chest is heaving with the effort to breathe normally. He feels more satisfied than he ever has, but when he looks up and sees Haley licks her lips…that small action has him rearing to go again. She slowly stands up and sways over to the bedroom door, tossing a wink over her shoulder. "Play your cards right and there's more where that came from."

Haley James is officially the hottest thing he's ever had the pleasure of seeing.

~x~

"This came in the mail for you," Haley says as she bounces into the apartment. She has a stack of mail in her hands, mostly take-out flyers and coupon sheets. Plucking a white envelope out of the stack, she slides it over to him.

He picks up the piece of mail and glances over it with furrowed eyebrows. His name is neatly printed on a pasted-on label. In the corner of the envelope rests Duke University's Athletic Department logo. Tearing open the seal, he pulls out a tri-folded piece of light blue stock paper. When he flips it open, he groans and rolls his eyes at what's on the paper.

"What is it?" Haley asks curiously as she saddles up next to him. She lightly leans her chin on his shoulder to get a good look at the mail in his hands. One arm is tossed haphazardly over his opposing shoulder.

Nathan sucks in a shaky breath at her close proximity, his grip creasing the edges of the paper in his hands. The scent of her perfume—infamously vanilla—surrounds him and makes him dizzy with need, as it always does. The effect she has on him isn't healthy, but what can he do?

Clearing his throat, he waves the paper around like it's pointless. "An invitation to the annual freshman basketball banquet. It's basically prom…but in college."

Haley steals the invitation out of his hand and eyes it for herself. "Black tie event? Mandatory? Wow, they sure take this seriously."

Nathan sigh is laced with irritation. He'd heard quite a few rumors about this banquet. Apparently, all the big wigs from the team's sponsors attend to meet (more like scrutinize, intimidate, and threaten) the new players. There's a lot of emphasis on the event because the sponsors want to make sure that they're being represented by the right people and that their money is going to an "honorable group of men." It reminds Nathan of the parties his dad used to throw when he was in high school, the "Kiss Dan Scott's Ass Jamboree."

"Yeah, I'm sure Coach K already has like fifty speeches prepared about how we better be on our best behavior and not let him down lined up," Nathan grumbles.

Haley makes a short "humph" sound as she hands Nathan back the invitation. "Who's going to be your plus one?"

He glances up at her question and a smirk spreads across his face. He's unsure if she's asking because she's fishing or if she's genuinely curious. He hopes it's the former. "Who wants to know?"

She's quick to shoot a remark back him. "Me, because I need to know if I should make myself scarce that night. You know, I'd rather not hear the sex. All 30 seconds of it."

His first thought it to deny her obvious jab at his ego—he has it on good authority that he's fucking fantastic in bed—but enticing her sounds like more fun.

"Mmm, but I do have a fabulous rebound rate."

A perfectly arched eyebrow pops up.

"What, you don't believe me? I'm more than willing to give you a demonstration."

She presses her lips together in a coy and soft smile. "That's okay. I'll let you save your energy for whatever girl is lucky enough to be your date."

Her words are dripping in sarcasm and they only make his smirk widen. He lives for this side of Haley and he loves the fact that he's one of the only people that can bring it out in her.

"Do I detect a little bit of jealousy?" he muses. His eyes are twinkling back at her with pure amusement.

"In your dreams," she scoffs.

Nathan swivels on his stool so that he's facing her. Their knees are now pressed together, heat emanating from them both. He leans in so their faces are only a couple inches apart. His smirk melts into a smile when he hears her sharp intake of breath. It means everything to him that he affects her as much as she affects him.

"Wanna hear about my dreams?"

Haley laughs melodically when he wiggles his eyebrows at her. "I think I already have a pretty good idea of what your dreams are like."

"Come with me," he whispers after their laughter dies down. He didn't even have to think twice about asking her to come with him.

"What?" she asks, clearly surprised.

"Come with me to the banquet."

She eyes him suspiciously for a moment. "Are you really asking me or is this just some— "

"I'm really asking you."

The smile that graces her lips is enough to send him spiraling. "Then, yes, I'll go with you."

~x~

Nathan runs the now-damp towel resting around his neck through his hair as he exits the bathroom. A pair of boxers is the only article of clothing he has on. His body is still humming from the hot water, which was a stark contrast to what he felt before getting in the shower. Practice had been exceptionally brutal—longer than normal and more physically exhausting than usual. After it was over, Nathan felt as if he'd been run over by a bus. He's sore in places he didn't even know he could be sore in.

All he wants to do is crawl into bed and sleep the weekend away. But just as he reaches his bedroom door, he hears an odd noise that stops him in his tracks. At first, he considers that he must be hearing things…until he hears it again. The sound is faint but unmistakable. A low buzzing sound that seems to be calling out to him. And it's coming from Haley's room.

It's like a gravitational pull that lures him in, with his feet dragging heavily against the carpet. He wishes he could say that it was pure curiosity, but it felt stronger than that. He couldn't ignore it, albeit he hadn't tried to either.

Peering through her cracked doorway, Nathan's jaw slacks at what he sees. The morally right thing to do would be to walk away and pretend he didn't see anything. But he can't move. It's like his feet had become cemented to the floor, his body rigid with shock…but also with blinding arousal. He's not sure he'd ever become so turned on so quickly in his entire life.

Haley is lying on her bed, propped up by a few pillows. Her knees are bent, as her slender thighs are parted. The only stitch of clothing she has on in is a lacy black bra. Although, one of the cups is pulled down, exposing one of her breasts. One of her hands is kneading her breast, while the other one is tucked between her thighs. The low buzzing sound is emanating from a small pink vibrator that's in her hand.

A voice chants in his head—walk away, walk away, walk away. But it's useless. White noise is rushing through his ears as all the saliva in his mouth dries up. His eyes drink in the way her head is tipped back, eyes clenched shut, and her lips parted in pleasure. Her skin is flushed and looks more enticing than usual. Just when he thought Haley couldn't get any sexier…

He figures he should feel like a creep spying on her the way that he is, but any trace of his conscious seems to have scattered.

Her breathy, quiet whimper of his name has his temperature spiking and his heartbeat rattling. Fuck that's so hot. Normally something like this would fuel his sexual arrogance, resulting in one of his cocky smirks. But right now, he's far too gone to do anything but stare. The lower part of his body is aching for attention, and his half a mind to pay attention to it.

Before he realizes what he's doing, he's walking into her bedroom. He doesn't think about the consequences or what she'll do and say when she notices his intrusion.

"Hales," he cracks deeply. He's surprised he can talk at all with the way his throat seems to have closed up.

He watches as her eyes pop open and her facial expression changes from aroused to mortified.

"Nathan!" she shouts, desperately grasping for one of her large pillows. A twinge of disappointment surges through him when she covers herself with the pillow. "What the fuck are you doing in here?!"

She doesn't seem angry, he notices, but rather in shock and embarrassed. Her face is flushing scarlet as her eyes are practically bugging out of her head. He takes the fact that she hasn't kicked him out of her room yet as a good sign. Although, the still conscious part of his brain feels a stab of guilt.

"Hales," he croaks shakily. He has to clear his throat before he can try to speak again. "I'm sorry…I just…"

"Were you spying on me?" she asks. Her horrified tone makes him visibly cringe.

"No! No, God, no," he rushes out as he cautiously walks towards her bed. When she shows no signs of discomfort, he carefully takes a seat on her bed. "Not at all. I just got out of the shower and heard a noise coming from your room. I figured it was worth investigating…do you want me to leave?"

"No!" she quickly rushes out. "No, I just…God, I'm so embarrassed."

She digs her head further into her pillow.

"That was one of the hottest things I've ever seen," he responds with a throaty laugh.

She peaks over the pillow and he can see the dusty pink color radiating on her cheeks. Her eyes tell him that she's intrigued by his words, but still skeptical.

"Really?" she squeaks. When he nods, she relaxes a little.

Gently, he peels her arms away from their tight grip on the pillow, smiling inwardly when she doesn't protest. As he beings to lean over her, he grabs the pillow and tosses it to the side. He can't stop his eyes from roaming over her body. Every inch of her skin seems to glow, calling out to him in the most devilish of ways.

" _You're_ one of the hottest things I've ever seen," he whispers huskily, brushing his lips over the curve of her jaw. She gasps lightly at the way he gently kisses down her neck, his tongue occasionally grazing her skin. "Do you know how many times I've done the same thing while thinking of you?"

He's talking himself so hoarse that he doesn't recognize the sound of his own voice. She shivers at his sentiments, whimpering his name in that way that makes him throb. Blindly, he reaches for the discarded vibrator. Once his fingers clasp around it, he glides his lips back up to her face. Resting his forehead against hers, he locks his eyes on her heated and hooded gaze. Without taking his eyes off hers, he slips his hand between her thighs.

He keeps a close eye on her, looking for any kind of sign that he needs to stop. When he doesn't find one, he moves forward. He can't resist touching her, slowly sliding a finger against her. His eyes nearly cross when he feels how wet she is…so wet, so warm…he could drown in her.

"Shit, baby, you're so fucking wet," he gasps out. He barely slides the tip of his finger inside of her before she clenches around him. A desperate moan passes her lips. Fuck. The first thought that comes to his mind is how good she'd feel around a different part of his anatomy. He doesn't have the strength to push that thought out of his mind.

"That's what happens when I think of you," she pants pleasurably, her eyes fluttering shut.

He's about to explode and she hasn't even laid a finger on him yet. It's so fucking addicting.

Nathan holds the bullet more firmly in his hand as he flicks the switch on to the lowest setting. The low buzzing noise joins the sound of their heavy breathing. She licks her lips in anticipation when he lowers the bullet to her. He presses it against her lightly and her mouth drops open in gratification.

"Nathan," she keens. Hearing her moan his name never gets old.

Using his thumb, he flicks the switch up to the next setting. Her hands shoot up to grip his shoulders, digging her nails into the rounded tops.

"Oh, fuck," she moans, gyrating her hips a little to the tune of the vibrator.

Removing the toy from her—smirking when she lets out a needy whine—he places it back in her hand. "I want to watch you come for me."

Haley blinks back at him in confusion for a moment before realization settles in. With rapture, he watches as she settles back into the comfort of her stack of pillows. Without breaking his eye contact, she brings the toy back between her eyes. As soon as she makes contact, she tilts her head back and moans low in her throat.

"Oh, God, Nathan, this feels so good."

He can't take it anymore. Wiggling his boxers down his thighs, he wraps his hand around himself. He starts slowly, moving from base to tip. If he focuses hard enough, he can pretend it's her hand.

"Shit," he grounds out hoarsely.

There's something so incredibly hot about getting himself off to Haley getting herself off. Maybe it's in the way she can't take her eyes off of him, whether it's holding his gaze or admiring another part of him. Or maybe it's the way she's moaning his name—throaty gasps of "oh, yes, Nathan, right there. Oh, fuck." Either way, he's racing towards climax in a matter of minutes.

The sound of her moans spurs him on. His hand is a blur as sighs of pleasure exit his own body. "I'm so close," he tells her and she can only nod frantically in response.

He finishes before her, fighting to catch his breath as he wills his body to settle down. He can tell how close she is by the way she's moaning and by the way she's squirming. Without second guessing it, he crawls in between her legs. He presses his lips to her ear as both hands slide beneath the wire of her bra. Her rubs the pads of his thumbs against her erect nipples and her moans deepen in response, hips bucking wildly.

"Come on, baby," Nathan coaxes her. "I know you're there."

Seconds pass before Haley's body goes rigid and she moans loudly. He can taste the sweat on her skin when he plants soft kisses against her flesh as he body comes down. When both of their breathing evens out, he collapses next to her.

Haley wastes no time curling up next to him, resting her head on his bare chest. Like it's the most natural thing in the world, his arm bands around her waist and holds her tightly against him. He briefly wonders if she's thinking what he's thinking—that they fit together like the perfect puzzle pieces.

"I know you're wondering…It's only you," she murmurs drowsily. Her voice sounds lazy and exhausted, but there's an after-lust glow in the way her words float through the air.

"What?" he questions. His forehead creases with confusion.

"There isn't anyone else who has me," she slurs, almost as if she's teetering between sleep and consciousness. "It's only you."

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't been dying to hear something like that.

~x~

Nathan leans against the doorframe, hidden by the shadows of the vast auditorium. The overhead lighting is off, while the stage lighting is dimmed. In the center of the stage rests a black grand piano. Haley is perched on the connecting bench—hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun and not a stroke of make-up on her face. Her fingers are delicately moving over the keys, the melodic and peaceful notes washing over him…calming him.

He doesn't have the heart to interrupt her, to let her know that he's here. He knew this is where he'd find her. She texted him about an hour ago, asking if he could pick her up from the auditorium. She'd been spending a lot of time there lately, working extra hours on projects for the music class she's taking. (Most of the time, he had to fight off the thought that maybe she was working overtime to spend more time with Tyler, but he was relieved to see that he was nowhere to be found. This time, anyway.)

She makes it look so effortless with the way her fingers move over the keys like she's not even thinking about it. Her eyes are closed, dark and long eyelashes resting on smooth skin. The passion is written all over her face like she was doing exactly what she was born to do. It's the quiet and unspoken moments like these that hit him hard, leaving him breathless.

She's the calm in all of his crazy. He's in love with her—it's as simple and as complicated as that.

It would be cliché and fairytale of him to say that he fell in love with her the second he laid eyes on her…but it was also the truth. He was drawn to her from the start. Her doe-like eyes, a comforting brown with specks of gold, felt like a hook in his heart. She's a spitfire—her countered quick remarks and sly sarcastic comments constantly challenged him. He admired the way she carried herself…she knew her worth, never took shit from anyone, and she cared so much for everyone and everything. He only dreamed of being as gracious as she was.

The sexual tension between them had also been there, even from the moment that met. Nathan had immediately tried to charm her, following the same routine he always did when he found a girl he was attracted to. She didn't fall for it…not even a little bit, which only attracted him more to her. Somewhere down the line, their cat-and-mouse game had turned into something a little deeper. Every touch, every kiss, and every whispered declaration suddenly meant more.

But he's not enough for her. She's everything he's not—kind, wickedly smart, selfless, compassionate…the list goes on and on. He's not made for relationships. He knows he'd fuck it up and hurt her, something he'd rather die than do. It's just the way he's wired. It's twisted, really, for him to be so incapable of being honorable and learning how to love, but end up falling so insanely in love.

But at the end of the day, he'd give up everything for her. He'd change every single part of him for her. Unfortunately, it just wasn't that easy. Lucas had always been protective over Haley, but it wasn't until the middle of freshman year when things had really picked up. Most days, Nathan didn't think about what happened…or at least he tried not to. It only ever served to piss him off. He could have stopped it. He could have protected her.

Once upon a time, Haley used to be a lot more reserved…a girl with a pure, unscathed heart. That was until Jake came along.

Jake Jagielski was one of Nathan's teammates—also one of the few players that bypassed making it on the freshmen boys' basketball team and headed straight for junior varsity. He was an acquaintance more than a friend, their only interactions taking place at practice or mandatory study sessions. But as far as he could tell, the guy was a total sleaze. Nathan was all for hooking up with girls and partying, the typical attributes of the "player" life Nathan had adopted for himself, but the way Jake talked about it was more than typical locker room talk. It was raunchier…insanely indecent.

Outside of the locker room though…Jake was the sweetest guy. He had girls swooning over him with smooth and sickly-sweet lines. It was like he was living a double life, but no one cared enough to connect the dots or even gossip about it like high schoolers do. Nathan didn't, at least, and it was something that he learned to regret.

He's still not exactly sure how Jake and Haley ended up crossing paths. He never really had the nerve to ask, either. The only thing he vividly remembered was being at the river court with Lucas when Haley showed up. Immediately, they both noticed that there was something seriously wrong with her. She looked dejected, completely void of any kind of life or emotion. She was pale and her eyes dull, missing any sign of life.

The only thing worse than showing emotion when something breaks your heart is showing no emotion at all.

Haley was a girl that knew what she wanted, but a moment of weakness changed that for her. Initially, she wanted to wait until she was married to have sex. That was just the way she was raised. But Jake was her first "real" boyfriend. Feelings and hormones can make things confusing, especially when the pressure to finally cave in is a constant variable.

Haley gave a sacred piece of her to Jake, only for him to betray that trust the next morning. Not only did he break things off the morning after, but he bragged about to the entire school. He spread lies about her, claiming that she was the sex-crazed one. His words completely destroyed her reputation…making her the target for unwanted advances and spineless rumors.

When something like that happens to someone, it changes you. It destroys you. And that's exactly what it did to Haley. She was still the girl everyone knew and loved, but there was something different about her after that. Something dark. Something jaded.

He didn't know Haley all that well back then. He and Lucas had just started to warm up to each other, awkward conversations and obligatory invites here and there. Even so, he still felt somewhat responsible. He knew how Jake was, but he just sat back and let Haley give herself over to him. Whenever he thought about it, his blood boiled and he wished to God he could go back in time to change things. To protect her like he always knew he could.

From that moment forward, Lucas vowed to never let anyone hurt Haley like that again, while Nathan vowed he'd never let himself hurt her.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so much for all the reviews! I apologize for how long this took me to post. Life got crazy all at once with me starting a new job, my summer class starting, and with my "sister" (not biological but that's a story for another time) and her daughter coming into town. I feel like I've been on the go all day every day forever now, ha. But one more chapter after this one! Thanks for sticking around!

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Part Four—I'll Wait For You

Nathan slumps further in his seat as his economics' professor drones on and on about supply and demand. His head drops to rest on his propped-up fist as he fights to keep his eyes open. His professor is a short, old man with a knack for getting off topic and lecturing way passed the allotted class time. His thin grey hair matches his dull and raspy voice, one that sounds like he's smoked at least a pack of cigarettes a day for the last thirty years.

It's Friday—his last class of the week—and the last place he wants to be is cooped up in a humid lecture hall. October is still pretty hot for North Carolina, but Duke's maintenance department apparently didn't get the memo. The heat that's pumping through the vents is suffocating. Even after taking off his sweatshirt, Nathan can feel the sweat dripping down his back. The heat only adds to his exhaustion.

Just as he's sure he's about to doze off, his phone buzzes in his pocket and jolts him upright. He doesn't bother being discreet as he takes out his phone. His heart skips a small beat when he sees Haley's name illuminated on the screen.

Nathan's eyes practically bug out of his head when he sees what she sent him. It's a picture of her and it looks like she's a dressing room of some sort, but he can't be bothered caring about tedious details like that. Not when she's looking like _that_.

It's an above picture, focusing mostly on her enticing chest. She's wearing a black, lacey dress with a plunging neckline. The material covering her breasts is sheer, leaving very little to the imagination. He can barely see her thighs in the picture, but what he can see tells him that the dress is rather short yet tight in all the right places. The only part of her face that he can see is her lips, tinted pink and curled into a seductive smirk. The only thing attached to the picture is a single question.

 _What do you think of this dress for tonight?_

He realizes with that question that she's toying with him. The dress she's wearing is far more revealing than something she'd feel comfortable wearing in public, especially to a black-tie banquet. Without hesitation, Nathan decides he's going to play along. The smirk is clearly written on his face as he types out his response.

 _Hm, far too much clothing._

Haley's response comes only minutes later. His smirk fades into a slight scowl.

 _So, you'd be okay with letting your teammates…see more of me? Well, if you insist._

Sometimes he wishes she wasn't so knowledgeable about the inner workings of what makes him tick. Sometimes he also wishes that he wasn't so easily worked up when it came to her. He _used_ to have a backbone.

 _Actually, I think you'd look better in a turtleneck._

A few minutes tick by without a response. He squirms in his chair as his knee starts to bounce. He reminds himself of a thirteen-year-old boy that's waiting for his crush to text him back—that thirteen-year-old boy that he never was.

It is embarrassing how fast he unlocks his phone when her next text message comes in.

His eyes grow in size, as well as another part of his body when he sees what her next message is. It's another picture from the same angle. Only this time, instead of wearing a dress, she's only in a silky red bra. Her free hand is cupping one of her breasts, pushing it upwards. Her tanned and toned stomach is visible, stretching down to her hips which are encased in matching panties. Her bottom lip is tucked perfectly between her teeth in a seductive gesture.

Nathan swallows hard to suppress the groan that he can feel gliding up his throat. His eyes slowly rake up and down her form in the picture. Every inch of skin is just begging to be touched…to be kissed. Sweet, intoxicating torture. Everything else around him fades away. He can no longer hear his professor lecturing. All he hears now is the blood rushing through his ears.

 _How about this?_

It surprises him that he can type out a coherent response.

 _Fuck, baby. You look so hot._

Her next texts were a series of pictures. In each picture, a little more skin is revealed. First, it's just a bra strap slipping off her shoulder. Then it's both bra straps. Before he knows it, her bra is unhooked and is only being held to her body by an arm crossed over her chest. The last picture though almost sends him over the edge. Her bra is completely gone. Her one hand is back to cupping her breast, a pink nipple peaking between her fingers.

His mouth waters at the sight as another wave of lust runs through him.

He quickly glances around the room to make sure no one has noticed how worked up he's getting. Luckily most of the students are either dozing off, playing on their phones or actually immersed in the lecture.

His response back is quick despite his trembling fingers.

 _You have no idea what you're doing to me, Hales._

He figures that he must look like he's crazy to the outside world. His knee won't stop bouncing and he swears he's checking his phone every few seconds, just in case he missed it buzz.

 _Am I getting you hot? You're so hard right now, aren't you?_

He almost swallows his tongue. For the most part, Haley is rather reserved. The fact that she's brazen and this comfortable around him means everything.

 _You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?_

 _Maybe…_

 _You're the devil, Haley James._

At this point, he's consistently glancing at the time on his phone. There are still fifteen minutes left of this class, but that feels like an eternity. Thoughts that haven't crossed his mind since he was barely a teenager filter his brain—how the hell is he going to make it out of the classroom without anyone…noticing his current predicament?

 _You're ignoring my question._

He can't resist giving in. There's something about being in a classroom full of students and being on the cusp of sexting Haley that's just so…hot. Maybe it's the idea that he's doing something he shouldn't be doing, and not a single soul knows. A forbidden fruit kind of thing.

 _God, yes, baby, I'm so fucking hard._

 _It's a shame that I'm not there with you._

His answer is clearly baiting her, but he's too turned on to care. He was never one to entertain subtlety.

 _What would you do?_

This is new territory for them, but he has no doubts that Haley's penchant for dirty talk was going to make this nothing short of mind-blowing.

 _Should I use my hand or my mouth? Mmm, I think I'll go with my mouth. I know you love how I use my tongue._ _I want to run my soft tongue along your shaft while staring up at you and feeling you get harder and harder by the second_ _._ _Ugh, I love when you pull on my hair as you moan my name. It gets me so hot._

The lust that's coursing through him is threatening to swallow him whole. If he wasn't in a packed lecture hall, his hand would have been down his pants in a second.

 _I'm touching myself, Nathan. God, I'm so fucking wet. It feels so good…pretending it's your fingers rubbing me…slipping inside me._

That's all he can handle. Without regard to the other students around him or the dagger he's sure to receive from his professor, he stuffs all of his things haphazardly into his backpack and bolts out of the lecture hall. Luckily the bathroom isn't far from the room he was just in and the hallway is fairly empty.

He breathes a sigh of relief when he notices the bathroom is empty.

For the second time that day, it feels as if he's been transported back in time as he slips into one of the stalls and tugs his belt loose. The last time he disappeared into a school bathroom for…indecent reasons was when he was twelve. He'd like to claim that he'd sexually matured since then, but obviously, he hadn't. Well, at least, not where Haley was concerned.

His phone buzzes again.

 _I didn't lose you, did I?_

He chuckles hoarsely as he types out a response with one hand while the other one pushes his pants down so they're bunched at his knees.

 _Almost. Send me a picture._

 _You're really going to make me do all the work, aren't you?_

 _I'll make it up to you._

A few long minutes pass before his phone goes off again. He's surprised when he realizes she sent him a video instead of a picture. His heartbeat accelerates in anticipation when he presses the play button.

The video shakes slightly as she repositions the camera. As far as he can tell, she's still in the dressing room, perched on the small resting table. The camera is angled so all he can see is her stomach down to the tops of her thighs.

Slowly, as if she's tormenting him, she brushes her fingers over her stomach, along the hem of her panties, down the tops of her thighs and across her inner thighs.

He's breathing hard by the time her hand dips between the elastic of the red panties she's wearing. He can't see anything except for the sweeping of her hand beneath the fabric, but somehow that makes it all seem so much sexier. He almost falls over when she moans his name softly. It's a quiet whimper, almost inaudible…but it's not mistaken to his ears.

His hand wraps firmly around himself before he slowly drags it up and down. He doesn't dare take his eyes off the video. Her movements pick up and he can her the spike in her breathing. She's squirming against the seat as she continues to chant his name in quiet, sinful whispers. She's talking herself hoarse with comments about how good it feels, how wet she is, and how much she wishes he was there.

Goddamn if this isn't one of the hottest things he's ever experienced.

Nathan doesn't try to quiet his groans as he picks up momentum. He could have his entire economics waiting for him just outside the stall door and that still wouldn't be enough to get him to stop. Just as Haley arches her back, a quiet yet powerful moan passing her lips, he falls over the edge. Skin slick with sweat, he rests back against the wall of the stall.

 _I hope that was as good for you as it was for me._

~x~

"Come on, Haley! We're gonna be late!" Nathan shouts as he straightens out his black tie. Slipping a finger beneath the collar, he tugs it away from his neck until it no longer feels like its suffocating him.

"I'll be out in a minute!" Haley shouts, her voice muffled by the closed bathroom door.

Nathan sighs as he relaxes back on the couch. This banquet is the last thing he wants to go to on a Friday night. Dances or anything that resembles them never really appealed to Nathan. In fact, prom during his senior year was the only high school dance he attended and that was because his mom all but threatened him to go, spouting some bullshit about how he wouldn't want to regret missing it.

If anything, he regretted going. The whole night he was forced to watch Haley dance and laugh with her date, a date that was a little too handsy if you asked him. Haley said that it was innocent and that he was just someone she tutored. He asked her in such a cute way she just couldn't say no. Her words, not his. Haley's intentions might have been pure, but her date's sure weren't. Funny how the people she tutors end up being his biggest competition.

To make matters worse, the night ended with Principle Turner accusing him of spiking the punch bowl and his date throwing up in his freshly clean car.

Glancing at the clock on the adjacent wall, Nathan rolls his eyes in irritation. So much for being "done in a minute."

"Hales, what the hell are you doing in there?!"

"I'm coming! I'm coming!"

One side of Nathan's mouth lifts into a smirk. "Hm, I remember you saying that last—"

His words break off harshly and his jaw slacks when she walks around the corner. He can't stop his slow perusal of her, starting with the black peep-toe heels on her feet.

The dark mulberry dress she's wearing plunges to the floor with a slit rising to the top of her thigh on the right side. The torso of the dress up to the deep V-neck line of the bust and down the sleeves are made of solid lace. The material fits perfectly to every luscious curve on her body. Sweeping his eyes up the exposed skin of her neck, he admires the twist her hair is pulled into. A couple of curly strands fall loosely, framing her face. Her make-up is darker than she normally wears, but it's not overbearing. Her eyes appear smokey, while her lips are tinted a light and dusty pink.

He's forgotten how to speak and he wouldn't be surprised if his tongue slips out like a dog on a hot day. He swears his heart gives a slow thump in his chest and the way everything moves in slow motion reminds him of a scene out some cheesy 80's romantic comedy.

He's said it a million times before, but that still didn't seem like enough—she was the most beautiful thing he's ever laid eyes on. He can't deny the fact that she has his heart and she doesn't have the slightest clue.

"Well, are you gonna say something or you just gonna sit there and gawk at me all night?" Haley says with a slight smirk and a hand propped on her hip. In the dim light, he can see the remnants of a blush dusting her cheeks from his intense gaze.

"You look…," Nathan pauses at the crack in his voice and clears his throat. "You look amazing."

Haley saunters towards him. Her heels clink medially against the black polished floor. Glossy lips separate to flash him a smile that has his breath hitching in his throat. Heat sears passed through his jacket and down his body when she glides her hands along the hard planes of his chest.

"I didn't think you owned a suit," she comments casually. The way she's peering up at him through her thick eyelashes tells him exactly what's going through her mind.

It's going to be a _long_ night.

"I don't," Nathan quips, dropping his hands to wrap around her waist and clasp together at the base of her spine. "I borrowed Luke's."

"Hm, well, I have a thing for guys in suits you know," she says lowly. She slips a hand over to his tie and tugs it a little. "Especially when they're wearing a tie, so I can…control them."

A small, almost inaudible passes Nathan's lips. Her lips barely brush along the edge of his jaw to the corner of his mouth.

"There's nothing hotter than being held against the wall and pulling a guy by their tie..."

It suddenly feels like a million degrees in their small apartment living room.

"You keep talking like that and we won't make it to this banquet. Then, I'm going to get kicked off the team and it's going to be all your fault."

Haley backs off of a little and shoots him a quick wink. "We can't have that, can we?"

~x~

So far, the only good thing to come out of this night was Nathan's ability to sweet talk to bartender into serving him and Haley. Other than that, the night had been filled with kiss-ass speeches from the Blue Devil's coaching staff and even more sickeningly sweet speeches from the sponsors. The food is typical banquet food—bland mostaccioli, plain salad with a soggy tomato tossed in here and there, and a chicken breast that looks like it was just plucked from the flock this morning. At least the vodka is good.

While Nathan is completely bored with the evening, Haley seems completely immersed. She seems attentive to the speeches, clapping when appropriate and even giggling at some of the forced and awkward jokes. She also doesn't look like she's five seconds away from falling asleep like he is. In fact, the only thing that's keeping him awake is the feel of her hand resting on the middle of his thigh.

He knows that their differences in reception to the banquet are a minuscule, insignificant detail, but it still shows just how different they are.

By the time the DJ cranks up his playlist, Nathan is ready to leave. Haley, on the other hand, has other ideas.

"You've been awfully quiet tonight," Haley points out as she turns in her seat. "Cat got your tongue?"

The bored expression on his face clips away and is replaced by a suave smirk. "It by cat you're insinuating—"

Quick like a fox, Haley presses a finger against his lips to quiet him. A light, pink blush is covering her cheeks while her eyes are wild with amusement. "I swear I hate you sometimes."

Nathan chuckles, but the noise is cut off by the DJ making an announcement that he's "slowing things down." He watches as more couples take the dance floor, pairing off and swaying to the music. An idea pops into his head.

"Dance with me?"

Haley looks up at him in surprise before she drops her gaze to his extended hand. She eyes it like she's wary of his offer like it might end up being some kind of joke.

"You don't like to dance," she reminds him coyly.

"You're right, I don't."

Haley shakes her head with a quiet laugh but takes his hand anyway.

Reaching the center of the crowded dance floor, Nathan bands an arm around her waist and pulls her gently to his chest. His free hand encases her small one before he holds it against his chest. The sway of their bodies falls in rhythm to the soft, melodic song playing from the speakers. He doesn't recognize the song they're dancing too, but he likes it. He tries not to focus too much on the lyrics and the way they make his stomach knot up.

It's one of those weak moments where he allows himself to think how wonderfully they fit, slotting together like perfect puzzle pieces. He could hold her in his arms for the rest of his life and it still wouldn't be nearly enough time.

"You know, you're a lot better at this than I remembered," Haley giggles, thrusting Nathan out of his thoughts.

"What? Dancing?"

She nods, a playful smile on her face.

"Well the last time you danced with me was when I was a scrawny freshman. I've changed a lot since then."

Almost too dramatically, Haley makes a show of trailing her eyes down his body. It's meant to be playful, but his body heats up in response.

"Oh, yeah, you definitely have."

He shakes his head in amusement. A comfortable silence falls over them as they continue to move to the tune of the music. When the one song ends, another slow one begins. A jolt runs through Nathan when Haley rests her head on his chest. Even in heels she barely reaches his collarbone. It provides him the perfect opportunity to rest his chin on top of her head, but he restrains.

"Are you happy, Haley?" he asks to fill the silence.

Since Haley revealed to him the real reason why she elected to go to Duke over Stanford, they hadn't really talked about it. As far as he could tell, she was adjusting well. Back when she first announced that she was attending Duke…it scared the hell out of him. He was hoping that with them finally being thousands of miles away from each other, he could finally move on from this constant torture that he was in.

Now he can't help but wonder if maybe this was one of the best things to ever happen to him, despite the raging war inside him.

She lifts her head up to his question. Astonishment crosses her features for a brief second, but then it's gone. "What?"

A small, but genuine smile crosses his features. "Are you happy…you know here? I know this isn't exactly what you wanted."

She seems to ponder his question for a moment before answering. "Yeah, for the most part, I am. I think about what could have been every once in a while, but I don't have any regrets or anything like that. I like it here. Besides, it makes a world of difference that I have you here."

Every time they have a soft moment like this, he finds himself falling harder for her.

"You're not just saying that to appease me, are you?"

'I promise, Nathan. I'm happy," she declares. "What about you? Are you happy?"

He doesn't know how to answer that. Is he happy? There are relative moments where he's happy. For the most part, they're fleeting moments, most of which occur on the basketball court or if he dares to say it…with Haley. But then other moments are weighed down so heavily by things he can't change and things that haunt him every day. All of which could be summed up by one name: Dan Scott.

"Nathan?"

"I guess it depends on what your definition of 'happy' is."

She's looking at him with those eyes. There's a glint in them that he's so many times before and he can't take it. She could always read him better than anyone. Sometimes it was unnerving. Other times it was exhilarating.

"You know Dan can't hurt you, right? Not anymore," she says gently.

He was expecting her to say something along the lines of that, but that doesn't stop his body from locking up. But she's looking at him so tenderly that he feels the urge to spill everything that's running through his mind. To tell her everything that he's always wanted to.

But he doesn't. Instead, he just offers her a tiny nod of acknowledgment and changes the subject.

"You know…you do look really beautiful tonight."

He breathes a sigh of relief when she doesn't call him out on his deflection.

"Not that I don't appreciate the compliments, because I do, but that has to be at least the twentieth time you've said." She pauses to kink an eyebrow. "Are you trying to charm your way into getting lucky tonight?'

"We both know that I don't have to try."

~x~

Nathan barely shuts the front door before Haley's hand grabs a hold of his tie. She pulls him until her back his flat against the wall and their bodies are pressed tightly together. Nathan's hand grip at her waist as he lowers his head. He brushes his nose against hers as he speaks, the smirk never once dimming from his face.

"You're such a little minx, you know that?"

The ride home had been heated…to say the least. Instead of staying put in the passenger side, Haley had saddled up next to him. Her wandering hands had him swerving a little on the thankfully empty roads. She alternated between leaving wet kisses all over the column of his throat to whispering filthy, explicit things in his ear. He was surprised when the steering wheel didn't crank in half with how hard he was gripping.

"Only for you," Haley murmurs with promise and decree. A wink follows the end of her words.

Heat sears through his body recklessly. "That's such a fucking turn on."

Haley stretches up on her heels so their faces are only a hairbreadth away. It takes everything in him not to press his lips to hers. Everything about her is intoxicating—the smell of her sweet perfume that makes him feel like he's home, the way electric shocks shoot down his spine with even with the slightest contact of her lips brushing against his, and the way that her close proximity makes him so out of control, yet in control at the same time.

"Everything about you turns me on," she purrs wispily.

The way she says it, he knows it's meant to be an icebreaker…but it only causes his body temperature to spike. Knowing that the person you want more than anything wants you back is a heady, indescribable feeling.

"I want to kiss you so bad," his says gravelly, a sign of sinful promises. His hands trail up her body to cup her face. The rough pad of his thumb brushes along her bottom lip. He swallows hard when her lips part in response and she looks up at him in lustful wonder.

"I'm not stopping you," she whispers hoarsely.

He doesn't hesitate. He tilts her head back as he claims her lips in a deep kiss. Haley's hands reach around to clutch at his suit jacket, pulling him even closer. As soon as her tongue sneaks into the inner crevices of his mouth, he loses all control. He kisses her like his life depends on it, swallowing down every moan and gasp that pulls from her throat. Their bodies are so tightly melded together not even a piece of flimsy paper can fit between them.

There is something different about the way they're kissing and grabbing each other. Each touch feels like a desperate plea for something more. Something more than words can describe. It's unlike any kiss he's ever had before, igniting every nerve in his body.

Way too soon, he's pulling away from her to breathe. He rests his forehead against hers, his chest heaving with the effort to breathe. The taste of pineapple vodka and something that is so inherently Haley still lingers on his tongue. To steady himself, he rests his forearm against the wall above Haley's head. Their lips are only millimeters apart and they're surviving on a shared breath. Haley's nails scrap against his scalp, sending shocks down the length of his body.

"I want you," Haley murmurers, breathlessly. Her hand falls from the tangled mess it's made of his hair and rubs over his broad chest.

"Haley…," he tries to warn, but the conviction is lacking. His breath hitches in her when he feels her small hand surpass his belt.

"I want you inside of me," she purrs as she brushes her lips along the column of his throat.

Nathan grits his teeth and his eyes squeeze shut. His blood is fizzling, the very tiny amount of self-control he has when it comes to her hanging on by a thread. A hiss whistles past his teeth when her hand sweeps over the silky fabric of his slacks in deliberate strokes.

"That's not…you don't want this," Nathan barely chokes out. Saying those words feels like trying to swallow nails.

He knows he should pull away, to distance himself while he still can. But it's like a magnetic force is keeping him in place, his body burning to be connected with hers. He wants this. He wants her so much that it seems unnatural, consuming him to the point of insanity. But he can't go there. He just can't, because as much as he wants her…he loves her too much to hurt her. To fuck everything up like he usually does.

"I know what I want," she insists. "You."

Her hand dips lower and cups him, her palm pressing against him just so. He fears defeat, his guard melting away like ice on fire.

"And I know you want me, too," Haley whispers hoarsely, her lips barely brushing the outer shell of his ear. "We've been playing this game far too long…don't you think?"

He could rationalize her words as a direct result of the alcohol she consumed. He could also justify giving in by the alcohol rushing through his veins. It was the easy way out, to quiet the voice in his head urging him to forget about all morality and to take what he's wanted for so long.

Nathan buries his head in the crook of her neck. A low groan pulls from his throat as he wraps his fingers around her wrist. He has full intentions on pulling her hand away from him, but he falters.

"Fuck," he pants, voice gravelly. "Hales, baby, don't…don't do this me."

Fingernails dig into the back of his neck as she forces his head up. Before he has even a moment to react, she fastens her lips to his in a demanding and hungry kiss. Instinctively, he pushes her back against the wall and matches her fierce intensity. His mind is blank and he's reacting on pure adrenaline.

 _"You know damn well that she deserves more than just being another notch in your belt and the fact that you can't give her that kills you."_

Brooke's voice, like a bucket of ice water, slices through him unexpectedly. He pulls away from her like a shot, causing her to bump back against the wall. Without looking directly at her, he knows confusion is written all over her face. He can't take the risk of looking at her. He knows he'll cave if he does.

"I'm…I'm sorry," he mutters pathetically, backing away from her. "Uh, I have to go."

He doesn't look back as he races out of their apartment, not even when she calls after him. It's a dick thing to do and he knows he'll regret it in the morning, but he has to get out of there. The way his heart is racing doesn't give him a choice in the matter.

Once inside his car, he wills his racing heart to calm down. The cold sweat that coats his skin is maddening, as are the aftershocks that are raking through his body. Memories, ones that he'd do anything to permanently forget, are flashing through his mind. His dad's voice is the only clear thing he can hear through all the white noise. His taunts. His ridicules. His belittlement. This is what it's all come down to.

He's not sure how long he sits there before his head no longer feels cloudy and he can breathe normally again. With shaking hands, he fishes his car keys out of his pocket and starts his car. He has a long drive ahead of him.


	5. Chapter 5

Here is the last chapter! The ending is very open-ended and that's probably how I'm going to keep it, lol. I'm also aware that it's super cheesy and probably a little unrealistic, but oh welll. It is fiction, after all. The smut in this is very mild in comparison to the rest of the chapters, but I just felt as if an explicit scene didn't really match the tone of this chapter and would seem forced. Thank you so much to all of those who read and reviewed this story. I was super nervous to post this story, but all of your support made it worth it.

As for future projects: for those of you who read Hell, that story is going to be placed on a temporary hiatus for a reason I will not bore you with. But I have a few short stories like this in the works, however. I'm kind of on short story kick right now. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this final installment!

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Part Five — You Make It Easy

It's barely 3 AM when he finally pulls into the driveway of the familiar house. The house is dark save the in-ground lights illuminating the walkway and the porch light acting as a spotlight over the dark red front door. Clay pots with fully bloomed and brightly colored flowers decorate the front porch and a year-round reef hung perfectly on the front door. For such a huge house, it looked warm and cozy, even if the family that lived inside it was anything but.

Since they were freshmen in high school, Brooke Davis had pretty much lived on her own. It was like her parents just woke up one day and decided she was old enough to take care of herself. Her parents were usually away on business trips...separately. Sometimes they were gone for a few days, sometimes they were gone for months. Whenever they did come back, they'd only be home a few days before jetting off again and when they were home, phone calls and meetings occupied most of their time.

He figures that's why they ended up being such great friends—sharing the quality of having absentee and emotionally abusive parents really brings people together. He likes to think that it saved him some kind of money that would have otherwise gone to a therapist.

Brooke is the only one he can talk to about what's going through his head read now because she's the only person who knows how he feels about Haley. He's never disclosed it to her, but somehow, she knew anyway. Sometimes he considers that maybe they were twins separated at birth.

His heart is puttering nervously in his chest as he approaches the front door. This is new territory for him and he's sure his anxiousness is written all over his face. Once at the door, his fist lands heavily against the wood a few times. When a few minutes pass and things remain still, he knocks again, louder and harder this time.

And then a third time. He almost does it a fourth time when he hears something behind the closed door.

Nathan's breath hitches when he hears the lock aggressively flick open. A gush of wind brushes past him when the door dramatically swings open. Brooke is standing in the doorway. A light blue robe is wrapped around her body while pieces of hair dangle in front of her face from her messy bun. As soon as she realizes it's him, her eyes narrow, she crosses her arms over her chest, and she huffs out a breath of annoyance.

She looks like she wants to kill him…a look that he's seen many times before.

"Do you have _any_ idea what time it is?" she hisses out.

"3:04," he responds innocently while sliding his hands into the pockets of his slacks.

If this moment were in a cartoon, steam would most definitely be coming out of her ears.

"I'm going to ask you this as politely as I can…what the fuck are you doing here?" Brooke growls at him. He forgot how cranky she could be when someone disrupted her sleep.

"It's a Friday night…I thought you'd be out partying."

He's only making this situation worse for himself by beating around the bush, thus making Brooke more irritated with him. He's never been one to just blurt out his feelings or to ask for help without feeling uncomfortable. In fact, he can't remember a time where he's ever asked for help. It's not that he always believed that he was the best at everything or that he didn't need to, he was just always too scared. Growing up with a father like Dan Scott garners that.

"Yeah, well even God took a day off," Brooke mutters dryly. She pulls the robe tighter against her body when a light breeze whines past them. "You have two seconds to tell me why you drove all the way down here in the middle of the night before I slam this door in your face and crawl back into my warm, comfy bed."

"I don't remember you being this…cranky."

"For God's sake, Nathan!"

Nathan jumps at the sharp tone of her voice. Reaching up, he rubs a clammy hand along the back of his neck. He's not sure how to start the conversation. Did he just blurt it out? Was there some kind of outline that he had to follow?

"I just needed someone to talk to and I feel like you're the only one who I can…I feel like you're the only one who will understand." Saying even those words had a globe of pain forming in the back of his throat.

He can tell that that explanation isn't enough with the way she taps her foot anxiously against her tile floor and an eyebrow raises upwards. She wants more and he obliges reluctantly.

"It's about Haley."

That piques Brooke's interest. She stands up straighter and the attitude drops from her face. Without saying anything, she widens the entryway and takes a step behind the ajar door. As soon as he enters the house, warmth cloaks him like a blanket. The scent of fresh flowers wafts passed him as he walks further into her house and into her living. It's eloquently decorated with plush furniture, serene landscape paintings, and more flowers. It seems like a regular, well-lived in home, minus the element of family…like photos or memorabilia.

"Don't tell me you slept with her. God, damn it! I don't wanna owe Peyton $50."

Nathan whips around to face Brooke. For a moment, his angst is forgotten as Brooke's words soak in. His eyes widen in part incredulity and in part irritation.

"You guys made a bet over when we'd sleep together?!" His voice rises a little more than he intends it to and he feels a brief stab of guilt when Brooke jumps. Her eyes, previously caked with sleep, are bright with alertness.

"Of course, we did," she says like it's no big deal. "Peyton bet that you guys wouldn't make it past the first six months, while I…gave you a little more time."

"You guys are unbelievable," Nathan mutters as he collapses back on Brooke's couch. He pulls at the tie that's already loosely hanging around his neck and tosses it away once it's free.

Folding her legs beneath her, Brooke settles into the accent seat next to the couch. "You're avoiding my question."

The smug look on her face is taunting him. It's a silent dare to either confirm or deny if he really gave in to what they both know he wants. He knows Brooke already knows, she just wants to hear him say it. He's seconds away from losing his nerve.

"No," he finally mutters. "But almost."

He doesn't have to look up that know Brooke is more than satisfied with that answer. In fact, he's sure she's basking in it.

"She gave you the green light and you couldn't do it, could you?"

His nerves return and jangle around loudly inside of him. All the words he wants to say seem to rush at him at once, clogging up his throat. Normally, Brooke's words would anger him…send him spiraling out of control. He's rattled, but not angry.

"Yeah," he confirms softly. Even he can hear the raw emotion and defeat in his voice. Just saying those simple words feels like a weight off his chest.

Brooke's cocky expression falls. They may bicker. They may be at each other's throats, but they're there for each other when it counts.

"What happened tonight, Nate?"

He leans forward and rests his elbows on the tops of his knees. There's a burning sensation starting in the core of his chest. "I took Haley as my date to the basketball banquet tonight. Everything was fine until we got home. That's when things started to get…heated."

He can tell that Brooke wants to smirk at that with the way she presses her lips together. Ignoring her, he squirms a little. He usually lacks inhibitions when discussing his…sexcapades, but this was different.

"There was something different about it that I can't explain. It felt like…maybe this was it. When she told me she wanted me…God, I've been waiting forever to hear her say that to me but I just shut down. All I could think about was that I just couldn't go there…I couldn't cross that line. I panicked and then I bailed," Nathan explains.

"I figured you would," Brooke mutters under her breath, but he can still make out what she says. "What made you decide to run?"

That is the million-dollar question—the one that he isn't sure he can answer without panic or pain. It causes a tightening in his chest, one that fights to leave him breathless. But it was also the whole reason he found himself on the blackened roads that night. It may not seem like a big deal to most people…but they didn't live it. He did. Trauma and manipulation affect everyone differently.

The silence stretches on for several minutes.

"I've never said this out loud," Nathan mumbles shakily. There's a burning in his chest as he tries to formulate the right words to say. Saying them out loud makes them more real than they already are. Despite his fears, the words roll off his tongue. Is there ever going to be a day where he's not a walking paradox?

"But you were right. You were always right," he starts off. It's painful to say, but he powers through. "Haley deserves so much better than another notch in my belt and it kills me that I can't give it to her."

"Nathan…"

He doesn't dare look up at her. He doesn't want her to apologize for her previous words. She has nothing to apologize for. He keeps his eyes trained on the pale pink carpet, finding it easier to speak without Brooke's prodding gaze.

"There's so much going on in my head. So many things that I'm scared of. So many things that I wish I could change, but I can't. I'm damaged goods."

"You are not damaged goods," Brooke interjects.

Nathan shakes his head, dismissing her claim. "Ever since my dad died, all I can think about is what he said to me, how I was _just like him_. He spent my entire life belittling me, telling me that I could never be as great as he was, putting these thoughts in my head about how worthless I am. In spite, I always told him how much I prayed to God that I would never be like him and he turned around and threw that back in my face. He used his last moments on Earth to stick it to me…again."

"Dan's an asshole," Brooke tries to reason with him. Normally something like that would cause him to crack a smile.

"The sad thing is that he's right. I've done so many of the same things he's done. I've tossed girls to the curb, broken their hearts, led them on, played mind games…I did all of that with no remorse. Not even a split second of guilt. It didn't matter what they said to me, what insults they threw at me, or even how much they cried…I just didn't care. I hurt so many girls and I just didn't _care_."

He pauses to take a ragged. In a twisted way, it feels strangely good getting this all off his chest. There's not going to be some magic cure. The way he feels isn't going to be fixed by the flip of a switch. But it's a start.

"With Haley…I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to hurt her," Nathan declares. "I _want_ to be enough for her. But I can't help but feel like it's inevitable that I'm going to fuck it up."

"That bastard really did a number on you," Brooke mutters heatedly after a few seconds of quiet. Her expression is one of concentration like she's still processing everything he's said.

Shaking her head, she leans forward places a hand on his shoulder. She gives it a comforting squeeze. "You're not your father, Nathan. And you're never going to be."

"I wish that were true," he forces out. His voice hitches at the end with emotion.

Brooke sighs loudly. He hears a hint of aggravation and subtle annoyance in that brisk sound. He doesn't take it personally. He knows he's a lot to deal with.

"Listen to me, Nathan," Brooke says sternly as she scoots to the edge of her seat. "You are absolutely nothing like your father and the fact that we're having this conversation proves that."

"I just can't shake this feeling, Brooke, like at any moment I'm going to reach the pinnacle of my worst nightmare. I swear every time I look in the mirror I see his reflection staring back at me. That's why I could never let myself go there with Haley," Nathan staggers before he pauses to swallow the lump in his throat.

"At first, I thought it was just…the chase. Lust. How she was the one girl I couldn't have. Things were easier then. Somewhere done the line…it became more than that. I should have stopped it then, but selfishly…I wanted her in any way I could get her."

"Can I ask you something?" Brooke asks softly. But the look on her face isn't one of curiosity, but one of empathy and compassion.

He nods.

"Are you in love with Haley?"

His heartbeat rises at her question. "Brooke…"

"Just answer the question."

He swallows hard. He doesn't have to think about his answer. "Insanely."

"Then you need to hold on to that," Brooke says seriously. "You need to start living your life for you, Nathan. You can't let Dan continue to control you like this. You know damn well that's exactly what he wants. Don't give him any more satisfaction. Don't let him win."

"It's not that simple, Brooke. I can't change how I am or what I'm feeling with like a flip of a coin. Besides, you know Lucas would kill me," he grumbles. His words sound like excuses even to his own ears.

"First of all, fuck Lucas. He's way too protective for his own good and he'll get over it," Brooke practically scoffs. "Secondly, the first step could be going after what you really want. You have to start somewhere."

Deep down, Nathan knows she's right. God, she's so damn right.

"But—

Brooke holds up a finger to silence him and makes a quick clicking noise with her tongue. "No more excuses, Nate. I get that you're scared, which is understandable, but you cannot keep feeling sorry for yourself or closing yourself off from great things."

She takes a breath before adding, "besides, it's not fair to either of you to keep this…game or whatever it is, up. Someday, something is going to give and it's going to end up nasty for the both you."

"I can't stand it when you're right."

~x~

He arrives back at his apartment later that night. After his talk with Brooke, she let him crash on her couch for a couple of hours before practically forcing him out her front door. Before getting in his car, she made him promise that he would at least try and talk to Haley. He did, and he meant it. Well, he thought it he did until he noticed Haley's car was in the parking lot and all of his nerves came crashing back down on him at once.

He's spent the majority of his drive back up to Duke rehearsing what he was going to say to Haley. He'd gone through about twenty different versions of his apology and explanation before finally settling on one. He just hopes that it's enough.

A couple of more minutes pass before he finds enough nerve to get out of his car. His heart is thudding loudly in his chest as he makes his way to his apartment. He can't help but feel like he's on the cusp of something big…like once he walks through the front door, everything is going to change. He's not naïve to think that everything is going to be fixed by one heart filled apology. He's also not cocky enough to be certain that she feels the same way about him as he does her. There are so many things about their relationship that are fucked up and don't make sense.

He hopes for a new beginning, not a beginning of an end.

She's sitting at the counter with a textbook cracked open, her laptop, and a notebook sitting in front of her when he walks in. The pen is digging into the paper harshly as she continuously glances between her laptop, the textbook, and what she's jotting down. Her hair is pulled back in a messy-pony tail and her reading glasses on her perched on her nose.

Now is not the time to think about how sexy she looks in glasses, but the thought crosses his mind anyway.

She doesn't acknowledge his arrival. In fact, she doesn't even flinch or glance up when he closes the door behind him. That stings a little. Awkwardly, he rubs the back of his neck and slowly approaches the counter.

"Hey," he finally manages to force out.

The pen that's moving fluidly across the notebook paper comes to screeching halt as her shoulders lift in surprise. Slowly, she peers at him over the rim of her glasses and moves to hold the pen with both hands. From where he's standing, he can see her twisting the cap to the pen rapidly.

"Hi."

She doesn't look mad with her lip tucked beneath her teeth and her eyes glazed over with concern. He's not sure if that's a good or a bad sign.

He's not sure what to do next. Does he just start groveling? Does he wait for her to ask for an explanation for his actions the previous night? God, why was being mature so _hard_?

"Where'd you end up last night?" She asks after a couple of seconds of thick silence. He doesn't miss her caution like she's expecting him to say that he stumbled his way into another girl's bed. He doesn't blame her for jumping to that conclusion. That's definitely something that he'd been guilty of in the past, but not anymore.

"Brooke's," Nathan quickly tells her.

Her face scrunches in confusion while her eyes reveal relief. "Brooke's?"

He nods. "I needed to clear my head."

"Oh," she squeaks. "I was, uh, worried about you, especially since you were drinking. I called you a few times."

The guilt jabs him in the gut as if she didn't already have enough to hate him for. "I turned my phone off. I'm sorry…I didn't mean to worry you."

"It's okay," she says with a shaky smile. "As long as you're okay."

He hates this awkwardness between them. Awkward wasn't a word that could usually be used to describe them and he wasn't sure how to handle it. He could take her smart mouth. He rejoiced in their banter and thrived off the sexual tension that usually infiltrated their conversations.

"We should talk."

His gaze darts from the ground to her face. It's scary how in tune she is with him sometimes like she can read every passing thought of his. The way she says it though is what really gets to him. She says it softly and timidly…like maybe she's afraid of what he's going to say. The pain in his gut intensifies.

"Yeah," he murmurs, swallowing the lump in his throat.

The silence is covered up by the sound of Haley closing the lid to her laptop and slamming her textbook closed. She piles all of her things together neatly before looking up at Nathan. Drumming her fingers against the cover of her textbook, she glances up at Nathan.

"I'm sorry about last night," Nathan begins. He's aware of how lame it sounds, but it's a start.

"What happened?" she questions. "I thought everything was going great until you…"

"I panicked," he fills in for her.

Her eyebrows raise in question. "You panicked?"

This is it. He can either chose to make up some lie or tell her the truth. A couple of months ago, he probably would have just lied or turned this into an argument back on her. Squaring his shoulders in hopes of appearing confident, he starts his speech.

"I'm not good enough for you, Haley, and I know that. I probably should have walked away a long time ago, but I couldn't. I _can't_. And I couldn't let last night happen the way it was going to. It would've have been fair to you. You deserve someone who can give you so much more than I can. Someone who doesn't have as much baggage as I do."

She doesn't say anything for a long time like she's still processing what he said. He can't read the expression on her face or identify the changing emotions flashing across her face.

"That's not your decision to make," Haley finally whispers. The sound is so quiet he isn't sure he's heard her correctly.

"What?"

The fire in her eyes and the emotion on her face causing him to fall back a little. Quickly, she crosses her arms over her chest and licks her lips. "It's not up to you to decide what's good for me and what isn't. It's my life, Nathan. I can think for myself."

"I know that," Nathan argues back. "But that doesn't change who I am or what I've done. Or how messed up things are between us. What we do…it's not healthy. And we can't keep doing this."

"You're the who made the rules," Haley reminds him with a slight disdain. "You're the one who decided that we couldn't be together."

He sighs heavily, running a hand over his face. He remembers that day clearly, when they…or well he, decided that they were better off being…friends with benefits, to put it simply. It was during the middle of their junior year at some party one their classmates had hosted to celebrate the Ravens solidifying a spot in the playoffs. Things between him and Haley at that time were…interesting. The flirting between them was intense, as were their wandering hands and heated looks when they thought no one was looking.

Things got super-heated that night, perhaps the furthest they had gone thus far in their…whatever it was.

 _"Slow down," he panted against her heated skin. Her hands were feverishly working on the buckle to his belt. His heart was hammering against his ribcage, a thin layer of sweat already forming on his skin. He was dizzy with unadulterated lust running through his veins, mixed in with vodka. Every inch of his body begging for her attention, specifically below the belt. "You always move so fast."_

 _She was in nothing but a satin bra and a pair of jean shorts. His shirt had been discarded a while, tossed somewhere in the darkened room. Her heated skin felt so good against his, along with the pillowy softness of her breasts brushing against him. He was quickly approaching a line that he couldn't cross, but God, he wanted to so bad._

 _She reached up to press her lips against his in a filthy kiss. When she pulled away, the blunt edge of her teeth pulled at his bottom lip. A groan passed his parted lips. "Then slow me down."_

 _He took that as a challenge. Aggressively, but not too roughly, he wrapped his fingers around her wrists, pried them off his body, and pinned them against the bed above her head. That action elicited a sinful spark in her eyes, her tongue peeking out to wet her lips._

 _She jutted her hips against his, causing him to inhale sharply. Using one hand, he held her wrists together while the other one gripped her hip and pulled her flush against them. Their pelvises rocked together as sharp hisses and heavy gasps echoed around the room._

Come on, Nathan. You can't do this.

 _"We can't do this," Nathan echoed his thought, but still didn't make an effort to stop what he was doing or pull away._

 _"Why not?" Haley asked breathlessly._

 _"Lucas," Nathan forced out. It was sort of the truth…but also kind of a cop out, hiding behind Lucas. It wasn't a secret that Lucas was less than thrilled about them spending time together. A few verbal threats and even one hard shove was evidence enough. While he respected Lucas and would probably feel like absolute shit for defying him, it wasn't his only reason for trying to put a stop to this._

 _Who knew that Nathan Scott actually had a conscious?_

 _"I don't give a shit about Lucas," Haley slurred, then giggled. "I want you to fuck me until I can't see straight."_

 _It was official…God hated him._

 _Leaning down, he kissed her…hard. Teeth clashed while tongues explored. He loosened his grip on her wrists and she wasted no time sliding them into his hair and yanking at the strands. He grappled for control, a voice in his head chanting at him to not be the bastard everyone knew him to be._

 _"Hales," he tried again as he forced his mouth away from hers. "We c-can't…we can't have sex."_

 _She looked at him with those glazed over brown eyes and pouted her kiss-swollen lips at him. There was an angel on one shoulder telling him to do the right thing, while the devil rested on his other shoulder begging him to be selfish._

 _What was the compromise?_

 _Popping the button open to her shorts, he slid his hand beneath the rough fabric of her jeans and the lace of her panties. "But that doesn't mean there aren't…other things we can do."_

"I know. That was a mistake. I should have never done that."

He sees her bottom lip begin to tremble and the panic starts to rise in him. This isn't what he planned or wanted. She whips around so her back is facing him like she's about to walk away. He notices that her arms are wrapped around her torso, her fingers gripping hastily on to sides like she's fighting to keep herself upright.

"If you're going to walk away, Nathan, just do it. Just don't sugarcoat it…please."

He's not walking away and he can't let her walk away either.

His heart feels as if it had been ripped out of his chest and stomped on. The pain is clear in her voice and he silently curses himself for somehow managing to hurt her again while trying to apologize. His words had come out all twisted and wrong.

Walking over to her, he slips his arms around his waist and pulls her into his chest. He's relieved when she doesn't push him away, but instead melts in his embrace. He places a soft kiss to the shell of her ear. "I'm not going anywhere. Not anymore. I was just trying to keep you safe."

"From what? You?" She squeaks from behind the thick curtain of her hair.

"Yes."

A sniffle is the only sound he hears in response. He takes in a deep breath before trying to speak again. He's about to unload everything that's weighing down on his chest and as much as it terrifies him, it also calms him. There's something tranquil about reliving his past if that means getting rid of it for good.

"I'm fucked up," he admits quietly. "You know how my dad was, how he manipulated and terrorized me. You know how I always said my biggest fear was becoming just like him and what he told me before he died."

She inhales sharply and tenses against him at the mention of Dan Scott. While Brooke had been his sounding board for all his family drama, Haley had been his saving grace. He'd lost count of how many times he sought her out after nasty fights with his dad. She was the only one who could take his mind off things and make him feel as if he wasn't a worthless piece of shit.

"But I felt as if my fear was useless because I'd already become him. I was like him in so many ways and I had already fucked up so many times. It was useless to me to try and change…but with you. With you, it was different. Scarier, but more meaningful."

Haley melts against him further as a single tear hits his arm.

"I don't want you to be the one that got away. I don't want to have any regrets with you. I don't want to hurt you. But I can't help feeling like that no matter what I do, it's going to happen anyway. Like it's my destiny. But because I've tried so hard to not be that guy, I've been selfish with you, by keeping you at arm's length and toying with you. I've taken advantage of you. But I don't want to do that anymore."

He forces her to twirl around. She keeps her head down but doesn't protest when he tucks a finger beneath her chin and guides her to meet his gaze. A thin layer of tears is shining back at him in her intense gaze. He sees the pain, the angst…the fear.

"But what I'm trying to say is that it's not your fault, Hales. It's not you. Everything…all of this…it's on me, because I've been too scared. Every time something became too real between us, I ran, which is my own problem to deal with. I'm just…I'm tired of running. I don't know how else—"

"I love you."

Time stands still. His heart stops beating as his mouth dries up. Out of all the ways he imagined this conversation going, never once did he picture Haley saying she loved him first. Those three words…they change everything for me.

"You love me?"

She smiles sheepishly. "Kind of a lot."

It's like he's forgotten how to speak. It's amazing to him how all of his problems seemed to be solved with that declaration like nothing else matters but her and how she feels about him. Is this what true happiness feels like?

"I love the way your eyes light up when you talk about basketball or how passionate you get when you're playing. I love the way you have such a big heart, even though you try and hide it sometimes. I love how caring you are to the people you love and how'd you do anything for them. I love everything about you and I know that's probably going to freak you out but—"

It's Nathan's turn to cut Haley off. "I love you, too."

She looks at him with wonder in her eyes. He wishes you could frame moments because he'd have this one framed in a second…in color and black and white. "Really?"

Nathan nods. "That's why I could never walk away. That's why I could never let you go because I'm so in love with you. So in love with you that I was willing to give up everything between us if that's what it took to make things right."

Haley giggles shortly. "I love you," she says again.

His arms tightly wound around her waist and pulls her so their bodies are flush against each other. "I'm never going to get tired of hearing you say that."

The kiss they share expresses a new kind of passion. It's soft, yet demanding. Passionate, yet slow. Out of all the kisses they've had, this has to be Nathan's favorite. It's ever feeling expressed without words.

Her tiny fingers waste no time slipping beneath the folds of his suit jacket and pushing it off his shoulders. It makes a muffled sound as it collides with the floor. He watches as her fingers then slide to the buttons of his dress her. There's something so mesmerizing about watching her fingers expertly slide each eyelet through the hole. Looking up at her through his thick eyelashes, he licks his lips.

As soon as he felt her mouth against his overheating skin, he groans and tangles a set of fingers into her hair, holding her to him. It seems as if she's able to find the most sensitive and reactive spots on his skin. Little shocks of pleasure run through him, heading straight to his groin. Every touch and every kiss is equal to an hour of foreplay between them

A thought that he wishes wouldn't cross his mind does. He knows that this is the wrong time to bring this up, but he has to know.

"What are we going to do about Lucas?" He asks through gasps of air. She's nipping her way down his navel as one hand works to free his belt buckle.

Haley shakes her head. "You're doing it again—thinking too much. I love Luke for caring as much as he does, but he doesn't own me."

"Hales…"

She slides both of her hands into his hair, scraping her fingernails light against his scalp. "We'll figure everything out, but right now…I just want you to kiss me."

He doesn't need to be told twice. He's tired of questioning things. He's tired of not going after what he wants.

He tosses his shirt to the side, along with pulling his un-done belt through the loops and tossing that to the side, too. Once those things are out of his way, he grabs Haley by the waist and lifts her up. With a joyful laugh, she wraps her legs around his waist and peppers his face with kisses.

Surprisingly, Nathan makes it to his bedroom without tripping or bumping into anything. Gently, he places Haley down on his bed. She scoots back on her elbows, mischief in her eyes but love in her smile. Crawling over her, he captures her lips in a fierce, passionate kiss. Somewhere in the middle of their roaming lips and hands, clothes are discarded. The feeling of her bare skin against his is almost too much to handle, igniting fire after fire inside of him.

He's never craved someone so much in his life.

Her back arches off the bed as he kisses his way down her chest and her stomach. Her fingers flex into his hair as a moan rockets through her when he leaves kisses on her inner thigh. He teases her, getting closer and closer to where she wants him with every kiss but never once granting her relief. She squirms and begs which are some of the hottest sounds he's ever heard.

"Nathan," she pants. "Quit teasing me. God, please."

Peering up at her, he smirks at the sight she makes. Her face and upper chest are flushed. She's biting so hard on her bottom lip he wouldn't be surprised if she was drawing blood. Deciding that she's endured enough teasing, he concedes.

"Oh, God," Haley moans at the first touch of his tongue.

He groans against her as he moves slowly, drawing it out as much as possible. She tastes just as amazing as she did the first time he did this…maybe even better.

"Holy fuck. Right there. Yesss," she directs him.

He uses everything to his advantage, listening to the sounds of her moans to direct him. It's not long before he slides a finger inside of her. Then another. She's fairly squirming with mindless want, driving her hips further against his face. He knows the signs that she's close. Hell, he knows them better than he knows the back of his hand.

"Oh, shit, I'm coming. Oh, God. Fuck," Haley chants as her body begins to shake. Using the palms of his hands, he presses down on the tops of her thighs to keep her in place. At this point, he's achingly hard, blind with lust. Her moans and the way she tastes is enough for him to lose it right there but he holds back. After all, this is about her, not him. He licks after her until her body seems to calm down.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're really good at that?" Haley jokes hoarsely, wrapping her arms around his neck when finally kisses his way back to her lips.

"Only the best for my girl," he croons with a wink.

Her legs wrap around his waist, pulling their heated bodies together. He falters a bit as a new wave of arousal hits him. It takes everything in him to not bury himself deep inside of her and fuck her into oblivion. He's wanted this for so long—so long that he's convinced being with her might kill him.

"Are you sure you want this?" He asks again in a gravelly voice. He might lose his mind if she says no, but he has to be sure. Everything's out in the open now and the last thing he wants is another regret to add to her list…or his.

She palms his cheek, guiding her lips to his. They caress his own in a sweet kiss for a few seconds before she pulls away. "I'm positive. We've waited long enough, don't you think?"

"Yeah," he breathes before capturing her lips in a deep, leisurely kiss. "Just be easy on me, Hales."

Haley's giggle fades into a deep moan. Slowly, he lowers his body fully on to hers. A shared moan passes between them, vibrating against their compressed lips. Haley's nail harshly into his back, piercing his skin. He swears he's never felt something so good before.

When he's fully seated inside of her, he pulls away and rests his forehead against hers to breathe in heavily. "Shit," he hisses. "You feel even been than I thought you would."

"So do you," Haley mewls, tracking her nails down his back.

Years of sexual tension and pent-up feelings are expressed as their bodies move together. Every gasp, every moan, every whisper…it's everything he's ever wanted it to be and more. Nathan feels genuinely alive for the first time in his life with every one of his senses on high alert.

So, this is what being in love is like. It's worth everything and so much more, he decides.

~x~

The sound of the rain is still echoing softly, pattering against the windows and the roof. Grey light streams in through the cracks in the blinds. The silence between them is comfortable.

Haley is pressed up against him with a thin sheet covering their bodies. Her bare skin against his feels sinful, igniting another flame of desire inside of him. He'd lost count of how many times they indulged in each other over the course of the last few hours, but he still didn't feel sated. He has a feeling that he never would.

Being with Haley…was addicting. Better than anything he could have ever imagined. The soft laughter, the deep sighs, the delicate touches, the desperacy behind every touch…it was forever engrained in his memory.

But it wasn't even about the physical release or sensations that accompanied being with Haley. It was the emotional connection that he felt—the way his heart raced every time he looked in her eyes, the way every kiss and every touch felt ultra-sensitive, how everything felt new and exciting, the warmth that had spread through his body…the list went on and on. Every single second of it was gratifying. It felt right in every sense.

On the outside, this is just an ordinary moment. It's two people with a muddled history, deep-rooted feelings, and suppressed sexual tension finally allowing themselves to indulge in the magic. To Nathan…it feels like a beginning. It feels like his first breath of fresh air. He knows that he has a long journey in front of him…but Brooke was right, this was a start.

"What are you thinking about?" Haley asks as she looks up. Her hand that was resting on his stomach slides up to his torso as she props her chin on his chest.

"Honestly?"

She nods.

He runs his fingertips along the curve of her spine, smirking when she shivers. "I was thinking about how right Brooke was."

One corner of her mouth perks up. "Oh, really? What was she right about?"

"That I needed to go after what I want and stop being such a pussy."

A light, joyful laugh exits Haley. If he could replay that sound forever, he would in a heartbeat.

"She did not say that!"

Nathan chuckles and shakes his head. "She might not have said those exact words…but that was the gist of it."

Another round of laughter is shared between them before Nathan chooses to elaborate.

"I was a coward, Haley," he recites softly. "And I was selfish. For that I'm sorry and I swear to God I'm going to spend every day trying to make it up to you."

His gaze doesn't waver from hers as he speaks, proving his sincerity. He's surprised to find that he doesn't feel awkward or out of place saying those things. They feel right

She gives him that soft and understanding smile that he loves. "I wasn't exactly innocent in all of this either. I pushed you and I taunted you when I shouldn't have. And I wasn't honest about my feelings either."

"We're both just a couple of screw-ups, huh?" Nathan jokes lightly in hopes of lightening the mood.

"I guess so," Haley giggles. "So, what happens now?"

"I was thinking…maybe you'd be my girlfriend?"

Her eyebrows raise playfully at that. "Girlfriend, huh?"

"You know that I have no idea how to…I know nothing about relationships and love and all of that," Nathan says quietly while running his fingers through her hair. "But for you…I'm willing to try."

Haley scoots up to press a soft kiss to his lips. "I fell in love with every part of you, Nathan, the good and the bad. You have me, and nothing is going to change that."

He falls in love with all over again with those simple words and the sincerity shining in her eyes.

"We're going to be okay, right?" He asks almost hesitantly.

She gives him a bright smile that seems to wipe all of his fears away in an instant. "We're going to be more than okay."


End file.
